He told me that I was the type of person to give up too easily, that I lose hope quickly, and that I should fight for something if I wanted it. It never dawned on me until he said it. It could of been a complete guess at my personality, he didnt know me, but it hurt to know that it was close to, if not the complete truth. And perhaps I lost things/people for exactly this reason. Since then it seems I fight for everything, to the extent to which people may accuse me of being a complainer, a trouble maker, an ungrateful person. And that hurts too. Because they dont know me either.
And so I wonder which is best, im still deciding. These days I try not to fight for things, and perhaps I dont react at all to minor injustices that have happend to me, but I dont give up hope either. I stay away from people that have hurt me or rather I keep them at a distance. I live in a world of my own. And I have found that somehow things come back round again, without me trying too hard.
And they happen as if I am an observer on the outside. And I can almost predict things along the way - like watching a film, regardless of whether its what I want to happen, whether its the outcome I want or not, it doesn't matter anymore, because if I am in a world of my own, then its not my outcome to deal with.
So if you think about it, Im not giving up, not fighting, just observing.
And so I wonder which is best, im still deciding. These days I try not to fight for things, and perhaps I dont react at all to minor injustices that have happend to me, but I dont give up hope either. I stay away from people that have hurt me or rather I keep them at a distance. I live in a world of my own. And I have found that somehow things come back round again, without me trying too hard.
And they happen as if I am an observer on the outside. And I can almost predict things along the way - like watching a film, regardless of whether its what I want to happen, whether its the outcome I want or not, it doesn't matter anymore, because if I am in a world of my own, then its not my outcome to deal with.
So if you think about it, Im not giving up, not fighting, just observing.
Believe it or not, just observing is a hard thing to do; especially for those who don't know when to give up or when to stop fighting. Life goes on, whether you like or not. So in some ways, you will never give up, stop fighting or stop observing. However, not loosing hope or just observing is antoher way of not giving up and fighting on as well:)
ReplyDeleteWhatever you choose, just remember that Allah (S.W.T) is always by your side.