Joined at the Soul

Pondering over the whole thing about having a "soulmate" in life. And how some people are lucky to meet someone who they believe is their soulmate and others are more lucky to marry them and spend their whole life with them. And I have been wondering what is it that makes these persons so connected down to the very soul. Because thinking about it, it could be that you passionately love someone but they are not necessarily your soulmate, and that your soulmate is not necessariliy someone you are passionately in love with. And the person your in love with might be someone you actualy cannot spend your life with, because they do not give you peace and fullfillment in your life. However your soulmate, will always undoubtedly be able to offer you peace and tranquility.

Over the year or so it has been a common occurance which I have found really strange; how I tried to just live life on my own and not let anyone into my bubble. But it was strange how people came into my life and got attached to me regardless of however hard I tried to just be a "nomad".  For some weird reason they really liked me and didn't want to leave me and I didn't know why that was. But because of their persistance I grew attached to them too, unknowingly letting some of them in and finding some harmony, and common ground with them. And then there were others, who I guess, I was persistant with in a futile attempt to kill my boredom and loneliness yet, I found no common ground with them, and was eager to return back into my own world after being with them. And I didn't understand why the difference was there, because they all seemed like decent/nice people.
Its just that I didn't connect with some of them on a level I connected with others.

And then I came accross a statement online (by Yasmin Mogahed) which included the following hadith and commentary which kind of answered my thoughts above:

The Prophet (pbuh) said: "The souls are (like) an army joined (in the world of spirits) whichever souls knew each other (in that world) are attracted towards each other (in this world) and whichever remained distant and indifferent (there) are disinterested to each other (in this world)" (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab Ahaadeeth al-Anbiyaa’, Baab al-Arwaah junood
mujannadah).

*Commentary: "Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on the hadeeth: “Concerning the phrase ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers…’ al-Khattaabi said: ‘This may refer to their similarity as regards good or evil, righteousness or corruption. Good people are inclined towards other good people, and evil people are similarly inclined towards other evil people. Souls feel affinity with others according to the nature in which they were created, good or evil. If souls’ natures are similar, they will get along, otherwise they will not be on good terms with one another. It could be that what is being referred to is the beginning of creation in the realm of the unseen when, it is reported, souls were created before bodies, and used to meet one another and express their pessimism about the future. When souls have entered bodies (come to the physical realm) they may recognize one another from the past, and may be on friendly terms or otherwise based on that past experience.”

"Al-Khattaabi and others said: this getting along with one another has to do with what Allaah decreed from the outset about the ultimate destiny of souls, whether they will be among the blessed [in Paradise] or the doomed [in Hell]. Souls are of two opposing kinds, and when they meet in this physical world, they will either love or hate one another depending on the way they were created.
Good souls will be inclined towards other good souls, and evil souls will be inclined towards other evil souls. And Allaah knows best."

(http://islamqa.com/en/ref/3864/soul)


Following on from that, there were some people/souls who I didn't care about leaving, because I didn't really like them anyway, and then there were others who I cared for, but it still didn't hurt me to leave them, and I wondered if this was a fault in me, that my heart had become hardened, but I realise that when your connected to someone on a soul level your always connected - your not really leaving each other, only in the physical sense. It's almost like your souls know you will meet again...

And so it could be that you can never marry your soulmate, but you remain happy in letting them go knowing they are happy in life, for this very reason that the souls will one day meet again.
It is something beautiful, because people get confused; they think the people they can't live without and have strong feelings for are the ones that they should be with, and they find it difficult to let them go, its such a mental torment for them because they "love" them so much, but this "love" is just physical and in reality they are the ones that damage your soul most. Your soulmate on the other hand, although you would be a little sad to let them go in this world, you would be able to do so, knowing your parting is not eternal. And its ironic how really, the person you would be able to let go, is the person you would find most contentment in spending your life with, because that is the one who is most beneficial for your soul, and sanity.

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.
Because for those who love with heart and soul,
there is no such thing as separation!" ~ Rumi