That wishful thinking has turned you fools into losers

The Prophet, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "The wise is the one who takes account of his own deeds, and works for the life after death, and the fool is the one who pursues his whims, and lives with the hope that Allah will forgive him." (At-Tirmidhi) 

Al-Hassan al-Basri said: "Some people live with the hope that Allah will forgive them until they leave this world without a single hasanah, or good deed." 

Allah, the Exalted, says: "And that wishful thinking of yours concerning your Rubb has ruined you and turned you into losers." Quran 40:23.

Sunnah of S... II

Something I think that should be talked about more (in a controlled setting - with teachers/scholars/Councillors/people of knowledge). Simply because its something so simple, and ignorance in this matter can have such traumatic effects on people/marriages on a physical and psychological level. Due to culture we are taught to shy away from such issues, but as Muslims there is nothing wrong with developing an understanding and still remaining humble and modest about it. It's easy for people to say that these issues do not concern them, as it is simply "not in their nature", well all I can say is; make it your nature. Follow the Sunnah, or you will always fail in this. 

A great piece, well done: 

http://muslimmatters.org/2013/05/03/vignettes-on-female-sexuality/

Joined at the Soul

Pondering over the whole thing about having a "soulmate" in life. And how some people are lucky to meet someone who they believe is their soulmate and others are more lucky to marry them and spend their whole life with them. And I have been wondering what is it that makes these persons so connected down to the very soul. Because thinking about it, it could be that you passionately love someone but they are not necessarily your soulmate, and that your soulmate is not necessariliy someone you are passionately in love with. And the person your in love with might be someone you actualy cannot spend your life with, because they do not give you peace and fullfillment in your life. However your soulmate, will always undoubtedly be able to offer you peace and tranquility.

Over the year or so it has been a common occurance which I have found really strange; how I tried to just live life on my own and not let anyone into my bubble. But it was strange how people came into my life and got attached to me regardless of however hard I tried to just be a "nomad".  For some weird reason they really liked me and didn't want to leave me and I didn't know why that was. But because of their persistance I grew attached to them too, unknowingly letting some of them in and finding some harmony, and common ground with them. And then there were others, who I guess, I was persistant with in a futile attempt to kill my boredom and loneliness yet, I found no common ground with them, and was eager to return back into my own world after being with them. And I didn't understand why the difference was there, because they all seemed like decent/nice people.
Its just that I didn't connect with some of them on a level I connected with others.

And then I came accross a statement online (by Yasmin Mogahed) which included the following hadith and commentary which kind of answered my thoughts above:

The Prophet (pbuh) said: "The souls are (like) an army joined (in the world of spirits) whichever souls knew each other (in that world) are attracted towards each other (in this world) and whichever remained distant and indifferent (there) are disinterested to each other (in this world)" (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab Ahaadeeth al-Anbiyaa’, Baab al-Arwaah junood
mujannadah).

*Commentary: "Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on the hadeeth: “Concerning the phrase ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers…’ al-Khattaabi said: ‘This may refer to their similarity as regards good or evil, righteousness or corruption. Good people are inclined towards other good people, and evil people are similarly inclined towards other evil people. Souls feel affinity with others according to the nature in which they were created, good or evil. If souls’ natures are similar, they will get along, otherwise they will not be on good terms with one another. It could be that what is being referred to is the beginning of creation in the realm of the unseen when, it is reported, souls were created before bodies, and used to meet one another and express their pessimism about the future. When souls have entered bodies (come to the physical realm) they may recognize one another from the past, and may be on friendly terms or otherwise based on that past experience.”

"Al-Khattaabi and others said: this getting along with one another has to do with what Allaah decreed from the outset about the ultimate destiny of souls, whether they will be among the blessed [in Paradise] or the doomed [in Hell]. Souls are of two opposing kinds, and when they meet in this physical world, they will either love or hate one another depending on the way they were created.
Good souls will be inclined towards other good souls, and evil souls will be inclined towards other evil souls. And Allaah knows best."

(http://islamqa.com/en/ref/3864/soul)


Following on from that, there were some people/souls who I didn't care about leaving, because I didn't really like them anyway, and then there were others who I cared for, but it still didn't hurt me to leave them, and I wondered if this was a fault in me, that my heart had become hardened, but I realise that when your connected to someone on a soul level your always connected - your not really leaving each other, only in the physical sense. It's almost like your souls know you will meet again...

And so it could be that you can never marry your soulmate, but you remain happy in letting them go knowing they are happy in life, for this very reason that the souls will one day meet again.
It is something beautiful, because people get confused; they think the people they can't live without and have strong feelings for are the ones that they should be with, and they find it difficult to let them go, its such a mental torment for them because they "love" them so much, but this "love" is just physical and in reality they are the ones that damage your soul most. Your soulmate on the other hand, although you would be a little sad to let them go in this world, you would be able to do so, knowing your parting is not eternal. And its ironic how really, the person you would be able to let go, is the person you would find most contentment in spending your life with, because that is the one who is most beneficial for your soul, and sanity.

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.
Because for those who love with heart and soul,
there is no such thing as separation!" ~ Rumi

 

Imam Ahmed ibn Hanbal’s advice to his son on his wedding day:

Imam Ahmed ibn Hanbal’s advice to his son on his wedding day:

Dear son, you will not attain good fortune in your home except by 10 characteristics which you show to your wife, so remember them and be enthusiastic in acting upon them.

As for the first two; women like attention and they like to be told clearly that they are loved. So don’t be stingy in expressing your love for your wife. If you become limited in expressing your love, you will create a barrier of harshness between you and her, and there will be a decrease in affection.

3, Ladies hate a strict, overcautious man, yet they seek to use the soft vulnerable one. So use each quality appropriately. This will be more appealing for love and it will bring you peace of mind.

4. Ladies like from their husbands what their husbands like from them, i.e. kind words, good looks, clean clothes and a pleasant odour. Therefore, always remain in that state.

5, Indeed, the house is under the sovereignty of the woman. While she remains therein, she feels that she is sitting upon her throne, and that she is the chief of the house . Stay clear of destroying this kingdom of hers and do not ever attempt to dethrone her, otherwise you will be trying to snatch her sovereignty. A king gets most angry at he who tries to strip him of his authority, even if he portrays to show something else.

6. A woman wants to love her husband, but at the same time she does not want to lose her family. So do not put yourself and her family in the same scale, because then her choice will be down to either you or her family. And even if she does choose you over her family, she will remain in anxiety, which will then turn into hatred towards you in your daily life.

7. Surely woman has been created from a curved rib, and this is the secret of her beauty, and the secret of the attraction towards her. And this is no defect in her, because ‘the eyebrows look beautiful due to them being curved’. So if she errs, do not rebuke her in a manner in which there is no gentleness, attempting to straighten her; otherwise you will simply break her and her breaking, is her divorce. At the same time do not let her off upon that mistake, otherwise her crookedness will increase and she will become arrogant with her ego. Thereafter, she will never soften for you and she won’t listen to you, so stay in between the two.

8. It is in the women’s nature to be ungrateful towards their husbands and to deny favours. If you were to be nice to her for her whole life but you grieved her once, she will say, “I have never seen any good from you”. So don’t let this attitude of her make you dislike her or to run away from her. If you dislike this feature of hers, you will be pleased with some other good habits within her, so create a balance.

9. Surely there are times when a woman goes through some conditions of bodily weakness and fatigue of the mind. Such that Allah has relieved her of some of her compulsory worships during that period; Allah has totally pardoned her from praying, and has postponed the days of fasting for her within this break to a later date until she regains her health and becomes normal in her temperament once more. Thus, during these days, treat her in a godly manner. Just as Allah has relieved her of the duties, you should also lessen your demands and instructions from her during those days.

10. Last but not least, know that a woman is like a captive with you. Therefore, have mercy upon her.

 

 

 

Internal Cleansing

After relieving onself and on exiting the bathroom, one should ask Allah for forgiveness and say "Gufraanak" there are two opinions as to why this is so; the first being, that one is unable to recite any Dikhr or Quran during this time so one asks Allah for forgiveness for this short period where one could not utter His rememberance. The second opinion being; that one has just cleansed and externally removed the impurities built up from the body and we say Gufraanak in order to internally cleanse the impurities built up in the Heart also. My preference is the second opinion, and Allah knows best.

Hadith 3: Al-Arba'in Collection Of 40 Hadiths on Ramadhan - Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Kawthari

Al-Arba'in Collection of 40 Hadiths on Ramadan.
Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam Al Kawthari http://www.daruliftaa.com/

40 Hadiths related to the blessed month of Ramadan.

The companion Abu Hurairah (RA) says that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:  “Whoever stands up in the middle of the night and worships Allah in Ramadan with two conditions: With full Imaan and with the hope of reward from Allah, all his previous sins will be forgiven.  Whoever Fasts in Ramadan with the two conditions, his previous sins will be forgiven. Whoever stays awake and worships Allah on Laylatul Qadr with the two conditions Imaan and Ihtisaab, his previous sins will be forgiven.”

Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim

Imaan: to have full conviction, devotion, concentration and love for Allah

And so whosoever does these things, fasting, nightly prayers and laylatul Qadr with the sole sake of doing it for the love of Allah with complete devotion and concentration then all his sins will be forgiven.

Ihtisaab: with the hope of reward from Allah, so his intention is 100% for Allah, to earn Allah’s pleasure

The sins that are forgiven are the sins between the person and Allah. However the sins that involves another person; this still requires the forgiveness of the other person.