Compatibility of Hearts

This explains a lot... Why some people just don't get along, and never will. And others just feel a natural connection;

Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al Kawthari:

Allah Most High has placed a natural connection and compatibility between some people, and disconnection and incompatibility between others. Some hearts are naturally connected, whilst others are not. Some people are inclined towards each other and destined to get along, whilst others are not. This is the reason why we sometimes feel an instant connection with another person – be it a family member, teacher, Shaykh, work colleague or someone random. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

This refers to the beginning of creation in the realm of the unseen when, it is reported, souls were created before bodies, and used to meet one another. When they enter bodies (come to the physical realm); those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they do not get along with. Moreover, this happens because of something in common that Allah has created between them; so people who have similar characteristics will like one another, and those who do not have similar characteristics will not like one another. People with good qualities are inclined towards other good people, and people with evil qualities are similarly inclined towards other evil people. (Fath al-Bari and Nawawi)

Amrah bint Abd al-Rahman says, “There was a woman in Makka who liked to joke, and she came and stayed with a woman in Madina who was like her [i.e. she liked to joke as well]. When A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) heard about this, she said, ‘my beloved (Allah bless him & give him peace) spoke the truth. I heard the Messenger of Allah saying…’ and then mentioned a similar hadith.” (Sunan Abi Ya’la)

A Guide from Beyond

“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
― Rumi

I remember a while back, after chatting to a friend, I say a friend, but actually I didnt know her at all at the time, but she did become someone admirable to me, mostly because she had such a beautiful and refreshing personality. She said to me that it seemed like I had been through quite a lot in a short space of time. It never really dawned on me that that was the case until she said it, I think more fitting is that I have come across many different personalities in a short space of time - I have learnt a lot about people. Yes.

When people go through some hardship, I guess its quite common for them to go through a phase of blocking others out, I was at a stage of never contacting my friends, not visiting family, turning up to classes and then leaving without speaking to anyone. Even though I kind of enjoyed being in my own world so to speak, it seems like there were still individuals who unknowlingly broke me out back into the real world - and although I cant say I would ever be my old self, I am grateful to them and to Allah for sending them to me, to show me that yes there is hope of some good and pure personalities out there. I do not claim to be amongst them, however observing the characters out there, makes me realise who I want to be like and who I would loath to be like.

Certain individuals come into our life for a reason. Allah sends specific people to us to teach us specific things about ourselves. It might be that you never ever realised how impatient you were until someone actually pushed you to your limit - how would you know ur own patience untill someone pushed you?
The people I have come across; good characters, bad ones, ones that I would like to help and others that are beyond help. I guess they scared me, not because they were not great characters, but perhaps because what it made me realise.
I look and I reflect on each person, and I think, what have they taught me about myself? That I am an unforgiving person? Because I couldnt give them a second chance. That I am a gossip? Because they managed to squeeze bits of information from me? That I am not merciful because I exposed anothers faults? That I am caniving because I considered "stabbing them in the back." That I am unjust,
because I stayed quiet rather than standing up for the truth when it was needed? That I am a fool for letting reputable losers take advantage of me.
That I am weak and out of control. That I am nothing. Althought life has taught me well, there is still much to learn. I fear the people I am to meet next but I also look forward to it, I look forward to each individual I meet that makes me a little wiser. Bring it on I say. And although I probably think now that "yeh I have met them all, I can spot them a mile off now" Im sure there are still a few characters that will catch me off guard, just to remind me that you still have so much to learn - about people (and about yourself).

I guess we are all weak in character in some way. The important thing is that we realise it and start to make a change in ourselves, so that the pain/difficulties experienced in our life are not repeated. Because I believe the difficulty comes to you because of a weakness in yourself - not in others. We spend too much time blaming others, finding the minor faults in them, rather than the obvious fault in ourselves. We should realise that it is US that need to make the change, to keep it consistent even when others dont, to fight the battle within ourselves, to always keep our guard up, because the greatest war we have to fight, is the war with ourselves.
When the companions of the Prophet (Peace and blessing be upon him) returned from the Battlefield, The Prophet would say "they have returned from the lesser war to the greater war, (the battle with the self)."
This realisation, reflection and constant effort to change is what makes us the better individual. Its what makes us better Muslims.

 

The Marvels of the Heart: Chapter 1

Title: An exposition on the meaning of the Soul, Spirit, Heart and Intellect and what is intended by these names.

·         Nafs – Soul

·         Ruh – Spirit

·         Qalb – Heart

·         Akl – Intellect/mind

All of the words listed above have two meanings; a higher and a lower meaning.¹ There is something outwardly related and something inwardly related to them. In their Higher meaning they all have a similar aspect, they coincide with one another.

The Qalb (Heart):

Lower meaning: The fleshy organ on the left side of the chest

Higher meaning: The Spiritual Centre

The Ruh (Spirit):

Lower meaning: the “energy” that circulates the blood around the body

Higher meaning: this coincides with the higher meaning of the heart – it is a “mystery” beyond the comprehension of Man.

The Nafs (Soul):

Lower meaning: this is something that is driven by the physical forces such as appetite, aggression, pleasure seeking, pain avoidance

Higher aspect: No different to the Higher aspect of the Heart and the Spirit where they coincide, it is termed The Serene Soul.

The Akl (Intellect)

Lower meaning: the faculty that processes the information from the sensory apparatus, organises this information, selects the relevant parts and then precedes

Higher meaning: “Inspired intellect” the recipient of knowledge from higher worlds

(so in the lower form, it relates to knowledge itself and in the higher form it relates to the Knower himself)²

Imaam Al-Ghazzali says:  They all have meanings specific to them, but then they also all share a meaning inwardly.²

(Note: that all the lower meanings are as they are in the Dunya, and all the higher meanings are something on a spiritual level, something in the next world, something that is much of a mystery as we cannot comprehend it as such but still we must strive towards it.)

To be continued...The next chapter is really interesting, it explains the role of each Nafs, Ruh, Qalb and Akl within the “Kingdom” the body.

References: 

¹ “Man and the Universe” a book written by Dr Mustafa Badawi – taken from Imaam Al-Ghazzali’s Marvels of the heart.

² The Religious Psychology of Al-Ghazzali: A translation of his book of the Ihya on the Explanation of the Wonders of the Heart with introduction and notes. Skellie, Walter James (1899), 77-32, 719