Marriage is selflessness

 A well known scholar once said "Relationships between a man and a woman should be rooted in selflessness, a husband should reflect on how he could give to his wife more than he takes. And she should reflect on how she can give more than she takes. This selflessness will allow hearts to absorb the realities of love that so many are missing today"   

Mufti Menk - be fair and just

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyfnTcdx_bM

- Support the spouse.
- Do not side with one of them (the wife or the mother) be fair and just.
- "My mother is my door to paradise." But know that your mother is your door to hell also.
- When you don't lay down the limits, then the marriage cannot work.
- Look after the parents, but be just in relation to your spouse.

Let them be Men

Men need to be given responsibility at a young age in order to grow up and become responsible husbands and fathers. The reason why men are so irresponsible these days and become overwhelmed when they get married is because they don't know how to cope with the duties and responsibilities that come with the new wife. Whose fault is this if not the parents? Mothers, stop Molly coddling your sons and allow your boys to be men and leaders of the ummah. And fathers allow and trust your sons to make their own decisions along with your advice and wisdom, but dont make the decision for them. The prophet peace be upon him used to put the younger Sahaba sometimes teens, at the forfront of the battle field and gave them responsibility to lead the army to war. Sometimes we miss certain aspects of the sunnah which in effect has negative backlash in the future of the children whome we one day expect to be responsible adults, dutiful husbands and leaders of the ummah. How do you expect that when one was never taught or allowed that from a young age?

Treasure for Keeps

And so in all the fluster of grabbing a diamond, you lost the gem already tucked safely in your pocket.