Dear future child, 
I just wanted you to know, 

I can never protect you from the whole world and it's 

Ego, will never satisfy any type of desire

It's just that, I can't watch you pass your life by with

No meaning, and just empty lies that are,

Promised to you by empty lives, Their souls 

Are on fire for what they will do to you and remember, 

What they say isn't true nor is it lies, it's just

Excuses made. It's confusion. Don't be fooled,

By the ones that expose their sins to you, blatantly unaware, 

Of the respect they lose, they are 

Victims of their own shadow and you 

Are but a light of hope and worth, too precious 

To be consumed in confusion. Too dear to care for the uncaring. 

You won't always know it, but your heart will tell you true. 

And although you will keep forgiving, eventually you will see through,
The feelings. 
Your concern should be for the one that never leaves you. 
Your hope should remain in the one that protects you. 
And your trust should never leave the one who gives you truth. 
We are but here only a short time, the chaos in the world is a sign,
That the end is near. Stay in fear,
Of your death, of your judgement of hurting others, their tears 
will speak against you and your tears against them, 
so collect them wisely and be assured that something better awaits.

Pulling the Plug

Three days a week my mum goes to hospital and spends four hours on a dialysis machine. Each time a taxi picks her up and makes the rounds to pick some other patients up to drop them off to the hospital for their session. Every week there is always news of another death on the dialysis ward, each time causing surprise, "What that nice chubby-ish lady that used to sit next to you?" or "Gosh that guy with no legs?" and each time sending a shiver up your spine, whose next...?

One day my mum came home with a story which I found really sad but greatly reflects how we all feel in life at times, if not most of the time. The taxi was doing his usual rounds and stops at a house of an elderly lady, and after waiting ten minutes for her, he decided to go knock on her door. The door was opened by the lady's son, who was quite distraught, and tells the taxi driver 

"She just doesn't want to go today, she said she won't go anymore, she has had enough, I have been trying to convince her but she is just refusing to go!"

So keeping in mind, that not doing even one dialysis session can be quite life threatening for these patients, and eventually would cause death in a short period, with a build up of water in the lungs and toxins. This lady was refusing to keep herself alive and I could understand her feeling, from witnessing what my mum goes through on a daily basis. Always feeling unwell, awake all night because of other pains and aches, even having to sit there for hours, waiting for a machine to do the job of your kidneys, isn't that the worst thing? That your body is so broken down, a machine has to keep it going. Is that body really worth living? Perhaps this was her feeling at the time. 

We are fortunate as Muslims to have Islam to bring us hope. That every disease, pain or health condition is a way of forgiveness of our sins, that everything is for a reason which Allah knows best and of course in everything we must keep patience. My mum is the most patient person in the world. Although even she gets fed up, after spending two weeks in hospital now (for another illness!), whereas I would have had it by the first few days! Our body is just a vehicle, we do not own it, we have only borrowed it for a short time. Therefore, we do not have the choice to end its life, as it does not belong to us anyway. Nor do we have the right to mis-use it, intoxicate it, which reminds of a time when someone used to tell me that they wish they could just get drunk and forget (lol!). Like any vehicle it may break down, part by part, but what we must remember, is that it is merely a form of transport, to get us from one destination to another, and inshallah whatever we are suffering in this journey, the destination is what will make it all worth while, so long as we remain patient with what Allah has decreed for us.

Gem

Forget money, looks, education, great job, even "religiousness". 
If a person can make you smile, can make you laugh, and is completely content with who you are, the way you are, right at this moment in time. Then be assured, that, you will at least have someone who will stay by your side, not turn their back on you, and keep you smiling through every difficulty that you will face together. Even the most imperfect person becomes perfect, simply by the way they make you feel; that you are a gem, a treasure, which they will never risk losing...

Focus on who is here now, and not the ones that left you. Because for sure, whoever is not content with you now, certainly never will be in the future. 

Isolation Became Dear to Him

Why did isolation become dear to the Prophet (Peace be upon him)? Why did he feel the need to escape to Mount Hira for deep contemplation and reflection, even before prophethood. Sometimes, it is necessary to cut all connections with the world and people, in order to renew your connection with yourself, and thus your Lord. As Imaam Al-Ghazzali says “The heart is that in which if a man knows it, he knows himself, and if he knows himself, he knows his Lord. It is that in which if a man knows it not, he knows not himself and thus he knows not his Lord.”

When Pure Souls Meet

Sometimes you just have to let people go and find their own way in life. It could be that that path is to lead them straight back to you anyway. Trust in Allah's plan. Be patient, persevere and be content. This will only make you stronger and fully deserving of whats to come. Remember we are all on a journey, on a mission to find ourselves. And some will run away from themselves, but the self will undoubtedly follow and show them who they really are. Don't be afraid, because after you know who you are, you will know what decisions to make, you will know your purpose in life. And there are many, travelers on this journey, whom you may meet along the way. And you will find comfort in knowing, that you are not the only one and you will feel encouraged with their advice to keep going...
Appreciate that the journey of others may be longer, or bumpier than yours. Some peoples souls are in need of more cleansing than yours and all that will make them fully deserving of you too. You are not at loss. Because in the end, pure souls will meet, knowing that the journey of searching was a journey of purification, so that they may finally, find peace with one another.

Marriage and Insecurities

Insecurities are common for every marriage or relationship. I of all people know that. And these insecurities can grow, especially if one fails in their past relationships. Its common to blame ourselves for a marriage not working, saying we were not good enough for such a person, in one way or another and we make the mistake of looking for people that we think suit us better, but in fact, they actually suit our insecurities. 
What I mean by this is that we look for people "lower" than us, or more needy of us, so that it makes us feel we are totally in control. But in truth our insecurity is in control, because instead of dealing with it and overcoming it, we are only feeding it, growing and nurturing it to become something of a phobia. We need to realise, its all a state of the mind, and the mind is such a powerful tool. This is not about fighting, and winning the war of your insecurity, this is about being intelligent enough to deal with the problem after you have realised it. 

How to deal with it?
It depends on what your insecure about. It could be looks, it could be lack of knowledge or intellect, it could be that I think my partner will get bored of me, its all a state of the mind, and they all require simple communication, with yourself and with your partner.
Talk to them, ask them what they love to talk about, ask them how they love to see you dressed, ask them about what they want, and then work on it. Maybe you will keep failing at it, for example, I am not great at talking politics, but the more I try to talk about it, the more informed I will become, the closer I will become to developing my own ideas and feelings about it, and even my own opinions, and strategies. Its a step by step process, one which you may fail at some steps and seem a bit dumb, but don't take it so seriously, its important to be able to laugh at yourself and your own mistakes, and have fun in teaching each other, and don't allow the other person to feel stupid, we are what we are at the end of the day, we are all learning here and a sense of humour goes a long way in relationships, marriage should be fun, lets not forget that, because we are on this journey together.

We always tend to imagine the worst in our heads, especially us women, most likely its not even like that. We over think things and play things up so much in our heads that it becomes a mini drama. But in fact, this thing that you find such a massive problem, really isn't so massive. Find something else in the relationship to concentrate on, something you know your good at, making people laugh, informing them of interesting information, cooking, and physiologically your confidence with naturally increase, and once you have reached this level, you will start to naturally feel confident in other things too, allow it time, to take its own course, step by step. 

Running away from marriage is not the answer, not for long term anyway. 
Trying again and working on it with your partner is. We are all scared of failing, but if we don't try then neither will we succeed.  Marriage is about teamwork, friendship, understanding, you should want to help each other be better partners, most importantly, you should allow your partner to help you, we just need to try, because in effect this makes us better slaves of Allah. 

And Allah knows best.

Frustrations in Egypt

Bissmillahir rahmanir raheem,

It wasn't the electricity cutting off for hours that frustrated me, nor was it the water being cut off for days on end, nor the increase in prices of local produce, or even the masses of rubbish accumulating on the streets. It was saying goodbye. And everyone knows how I hate goodbyes. I have said goodbye 3 times in the last 12 hours. To people who came to Egypt to seek knowledge and some for the betterment of their children's islamic upbringing. And now they feel the need to leave for what seems to be threatening this initial intention. Its really sad.

Fair vote, fair elections, is the only reason Morsi was elected. Doesn't it make sense to let him finish his course and re-elect, if after he has proven to do nothing for this impatient country? Truth is, most people on the street don't even know whose side they are on, pro-morsi or not, they just want change. The problem is, they want it too fast and join in the demonstrations purely for this reason, whereas for others, its just a reason to go out and party. And who is "egging them on" Morsi's oposition, of course. Those who have made his time in government not an easy ride. Those who behind the scenes, burst water pipes so we went without water for weeks, those who stole the petrol and threw it in the desert. Those who are paying people to cut the electricity and make our lives as inconvenient as possible. All these things done deliberately to frustrate the people, and then suddenly BANG, they ignite the spark to demonstrate and then let the dumb people do the rest. They are being played like puppets, if only they realised. Its not a new government that they need, its a new way of looking at things, wisdom, patience, and understanding of the reality of whats happening.

Bearded men getting attacked on the streets, and niqabis not safe to walk in peace, this is what they wanted all along, their plan of turning muslims against muslims, to divide us and to wipe out Islam. And it is the fact that Deen is not strong in their hearts which is the reason for them being so blind and delusional.
Ya Allah give them patience, understanding, and make them strong in Deen. Ameen.

Alexandria Egypt.

Respect Yourself

Disconnected

The further you are from Allah, the harder it becomes to fight the battle. Its strange how I came across so many people, who were in a sense so anguished, and out of control. Its hard to explain. But it doesn't matter how much my heart goes out to those people, how much I want to show them the way out, and how much I want to reassure them that it will eventually be ok, they can really only help themselves. 
And eventually they will realise, that that torment, that lack of control, has a direct link to your closeness to Allah. The further you are from your deen, the more you seem to be losing the fight. And for this they need to re-assess their life, what needs to change in order to stop being a slave to their desires. Because it could be that you work all day, your life is work work and more work, you may pray all your prayers, but where is the khushu in that prayer? Where is the closeness that you once felt before and how did you become so...
disconnected from your Lord? These reasons are all according to the individual, it can be due to people you interact with, who are harmful to your deen, or needing someone, whom you know is good for your deen, but your ego denies it. It could be the nature of your job, some jobs require a level of dishonesty, disloyalty, business nowadays is dog eat dog,  and for this, people spend too much time trying to be the best at work, rather than trying to be the most pious Muslim. Whatever the reason, the answer is simple, and I would recommend those people to simply stop life and take time out to think:

First and foremost that person needs to be willing to make changes in their life, secondly they need to re-asses their situation to see what needs to change, thirdly they really really really need to ask Allah to help them. Because without asking, He wont give, we need to beg Him, surrender completely and beg Him to guide us. Without Him we are lost. 
Without Him we are slaves to our desires, and that is as low as it gets. We have all been there, but not all of us have won the battle. 

May Allah help us all.

Cry it Out.

Sometimes you just have to cry it out. And when we are totally broken, when we have exhausted all other avenues, demeaning as they are, the last thing we resort to is this. And suddenly for whatever reason the burden becomes lighter. Suddenly another door opens, and suddenly it seems so much easier to close the last door. It doesn't matter how much people disappoint you, how many times they try to break you, it is purely to bring you back down to the realisation that, you are nothing, you are not in control, and that He is the only one you can turn to, to enable you to move on again. And those who don't realise this and do not turn to Him, who do not cry it out, and beg for his mercy and forgiveness, they will carry on going through the turmoil of fighting the war waging within themselves.

Why is is that when we have lost all hope, not knowing which way to turn, full of confusion and thoughts and thinking "What if? Why?", crying brings us this result? Because this is where you are at your most weakest point which no one would want to admit, even to  themselves, never mind to others. And for you to accept this, to finally break down all the barriers and just surrender yourself, to Allah, and to the plan that He set out for you, in this we find peace, we set ourselves free.

"One of the marvels of the world: The sight of a soul sitting in prison with the key in its hand."

-Rumi

They Need to Go. For Sure.

And That is Enough

I've learned I will almost never get it right first time,
I've learnt not to give up, to change my methods and try again, and again.
I've learnt to trust my instincts,
I've learnt that my greatest inspirations are deeply rooted to my fears,
I've learnt that ugly people will always be ugly, and beautiful people can be even more ugly.
I've learnt that giving up on love is not the answer, nor is chasing the love that never existed.
I've learnt that I should never try to change for the sake of people's ego.
I've learnt that my inability to walk away reflects on my weak Imaan, and what I do walk away from will pursue me. Iv learnt its hard not to look back. Its really hard.
I've learnt to smile and laugh at myself when the world seems dark,
I've learnt that you will feel Allah's love at times when you are feeling so unloved, and that that love is enough.
I've learnt that in the end, the truth always comes out, no matter how hard someone tries to make you look bad. That Allah sends the rain to wash away their black lies and criticisms. I love the rain.
I've learnt that in silence I find solace...but also fear.
I've learnt to protect myself by building a wall, yet still allowing myself to watch the world and lives around me through a gap...I've learnt anyone can get in that gap.
I've learnt that I never knew what I wanted, that I was easily influenced, that I tried hard to please others and agree to their way of thinking, even if I thought otherwise, and that not knowing what I wanted led me to the wrong people. I've learnt to know what I want.
I have learnt that there are people who want you and then there are people who need you. Its better to be needed.
I've learnt the people that are furthest away will always be the ones you miss most.
I've learnt to remember the bad times and not just the good. Because in the good you have regret, and in the bad you have relief.
I've learnt that the people that harmed you will have that same harm caused upon them, that what they took
from you will undoubtedly be taken from them too in the same form or another.
I see the innocence in those younger than me, I have learnt that time will teach them too, regardless of my warnings to them.
I have learnt that I strive to always find solutions for others, but give up when I can never find them for myself.
I have learnt that not every one will understand me. Nor do I want everyone to understand me. And the ones who do, only do because, they have learnt too.

Guantanamo is killing me (Samir Naji)‏

ONE man here weighs just 77 pounds. Another, 98. Last thing I knew, I weighed 132, but that was a month ago.

I’ve been on a hunger strike since Feb. 10 and have lost well over 30 pounds. I will not eat until they restore my dignity.

I’ve been detained at Guantánamo for 11 years and three months. I have never been charged with any crime. I have never received a trial.

I could have been home years ago — no one seriously thinks I am a threat — but still I am here. Years ago the military said I was a “guard” for Osama bin Laden, but this was nonsense, like something out of the American movies I used to watch. They don’t even seem to believe it anymore. But they don’t seem to care how long I sit here, either.

When I was at home in Yemen, in 2000, a childhood friend told me that in Afghanistan I could do better than the $50 a month I earned in a factory, and support my family. I’d never really traveled, and knew nothing about Afghanistan, but I gave it a try.

I was wrong to trust him. There was no work. I wanted to leave, but had no money to fly home. After the American invasion in 2001, I fled to Pakistan like everyone else. The Pakistanis arrested me when I asked to see someone from the Yemeni Embassy. I was then sent to Kandahar, and put on the first plane to Gitmo.

Last month, on March 15, I was sick in the prison hospital and refused to be fed. A team from the E.R.F. (Extreme Reaction Force), a squad of eight military police officers in riot gear, burst in. They tied my hands and feet to the bed. They forcibly inserted an IV into my hand. I spent 26 hours in this state, tied to the bed. During this time I was not permitted to go to the toilet. They inserted a catheter, which was painful, degrading and unnecessary. I was not even permitted to pray.

I will never forget the first time they passed the feeding tube up my nose. I can’t describe how painful it is to be force-fed this way. As it was thrust in, it made me feel like throwing up. I wanted to vomit, but I couldn’t. There was agony in my chest, throat and stomach. I had never experienced such pain before. I would not wish this cruel punishment upon anyone.

I am still being force-fed. Two times a day they tie me to a chair in my cell. My arms, legs and head are strapped down. I never know when they will come. Sometimes they come during the night, as late as 11 p.m., when I’m sleeping.

There are so many of us on hunger strike now that there aren’t enough qualified medical staff members to carry out the force-feedings; nothing is happening at regular intervals. They are feeding people around the clock just to keep up.

During one force-feeding the nurse pushed the tube about 18 inches into my stomach, hurting me more than usual, because she was doing things so hastily. I called the interpreter to ask the doctor if the procedure was being done correctly or not.

It was so painful that I begged them to stop feeding me. The nurse refused to stop feeding me. As they were finishing, some of the “food” spilled on my clothes. I asked them to change my clothes, but the guard refused to allow me to hold on to this last shred of my dignity.

When they come to force me into the chair, if I refuse to be tied up, they call the E.R.F. team. So I have a choice. Either I can exercise my right to protest my detention, and be beaten up, or I can submit to painful force-feeding.

The only reason I am still here is that President Obama refuses to send any detainees back to Yemen. This makes no sense. I am a human being, not a passport, and I deserve to be treated like one.

I do not want to die here, but until President Obama and Yemen’s president do something, that is what I risk every day.

Where is my government? I will submit to any “security measures” they want in order to go home, even though they are totally unnecessary.

I will agree to whatever it takes in order to be free. I am now 35. All I want is to see my family again and to start a family of my own.

The situation is desperate now. All of the detainees here are suffering deeply. At least 40 people here are on a hunger strike. People are fainting with exhaustion every day. I have vomited blood.

And there is no end in sight to our imprisonment. Denying ourselves food and risking death every day is the choice we have made.

I just hope that because of the pain we are suffering, the eyes of the world will once again look to Guantánamo before it is too late.

Samir Naji al Hasan Moqbel, a prisoner at Guantánamo Bay since 2002, told this story, through an Arabic interpreter, to his lawyers at the legal charity Reprieve in an unclassified telephone call.

Advice for Husbands/Men/Brothers/Dads...

(This made me laugh. Probably because it sounds like me...)

" It is currently ‘that time of the month’ for my wife and she has gone off in a huff over a picture of a lemon (or so I think). This is nothing new and something that I have become used to over the period of our marriage. Things like this are trivial to me, but seem to tip her over the edge. 

However, I then remembered that one of the qualities of all good Muslims is patience (sabr). I know that at ‘this time of the month’, I need to just let her be rather than make a bigger issue about this. She will eventually calm down and things will be normal again."

http://www.purematrimony.com/blog/2013/04/a-dads-discourse-have-a-little-patience/

Regrets

Its not that we regret the past, nor do we regret the people we meet, its just that we regret not knowing then, what we know now.

Sometimes a person can go to school, college and then university. They study for years in a particular field to enter into a certain profession. But it doesn't matter how much preparation you do, you never really learn until you start practicing in that profession. And suddenly all that study was almost a waste, it didn't prepare you even half as much as you needed, to be fully equipped to deal with what you have to deal with on the job.

I guess marriage is like this. You may feel like you know how to be the perfect partner, you may go to all the marriage talks that will equip you with an understanding of marriage, what kind of person to marry, how to deal with obstacles, how to deal with the mother-in-law and family members, you may have even walked away with a certificate stating that you attended such and such marriage course. You have read all the books so your now convinced that you are now fully prepared for whatever "Happily ever after" has to throw at you. And then you get married. And your like "Hang on, it wasn't quite like this in the book, or I don't think he was meant to quite react like that.." and your at square one again.

No one is really taught how to have a successful marriage until they are actually married and put under the turmoils of that marriage, only to come out from those turmoils - more educated, more learned, more prepared. We only know how marriage should be through seeing how other people are with each other, our parents, our siblings, our friends, however we don't really see what happens behind closed doors, the arguments and such, and our parents have spent years building such a close relationship like that, you can't expect your marriage to be as strong as theirs at the initial stages.  Attending courses and reading books can only really give you an insight, but the real teacher is marriage itself.

We learn how to become a better spouse to our partner through every obstacle, every misunderstanding, every argument, every silent treatment, we learn the likes and dislikes of our partner, we learn what makes them tick, we learn how to make them happy and content, we learn how to deal with family members, that your mother-in-law wants a phone call every day, that your father-in-law likes his coffee strong, that your brother/sister-in-laws are total nut cases, but you learn to love them anyway - you can't possibly know any of these things before you have even met your spouse, and its this, which makes us so under equipped for a successful marriage. And to those who criticise you for being a bad spouse, say to them that no one taught you how to be a good one, you are still learning, tell them to be patient with you, for you have an urge to make your partner happy, its just that you may not always know the means of doing so, you are so to speak, "learning on the job".

Its only with persistence and perseverance, with being firm with every lesson that comes to teach you and not so weak as to run away and give up when you think you don't have the answer, believe that the answer will come to you, so long as you are sincere, and once you know what you didn't know then, you are on your way to a successful marriage inshallah.

The Sunnah of S....Most Beautifully put

"I guarantee you that you will fail in this endeavor, most likely many times. You will make mistakes. You will feel guilty. You will feel awkward. You will feel misunderstood. You will feel like it is too much of a struggle. But it we stop trying to do the right thing, and stop trying to treat other human beings in the right way, and stop trying to be thankful for the beauty that God has placed in this world, then we will just fall deeper into the darknesses that Islam was meant to lead us out of, and we will never reach the point where everything falls into place and we realize why God made us the way He did, how He did, when He did, and why He surrounded us with certain souls. Was not Muhammad for Khadija and Khadija for Muhammad, for all eternity, from the moment their souls were created by God (may everlasting peace and blessings envelop the Prophet, his wives, and their children)!"

http://islamatbrown.blogspot.com/2013/04/on-sex.html?m=1

Find Yourself.

After a few down days I have had an up day. Sometimes you have to give back to others in order for you to get back up there again. And although it may seem a hassle to you, and that you may have to spend some money, and time, the smile on other peoples faces from your efforts for them makes you feel Allah's blessings. Everyone is alone, and everyone feels it sometimes, but when you help people find each other, I think that helps you to find yourself.

To See Reality As It Truly Is.

I dont know about anyone elses experiences, but sometimes Allah has shown me through small signs who people realy are.
Although they have been deceitful and dishonest to me, in my naivety I make excuses for them, I hide the wrong that they are doing when really I should for once stand up for justice and face them head on, demanding explanations. But I choose not to. Sometimes its better to make excuses for you fellow muslims and allow Allah to do the rest. If they really are deceiving you, Allah will show you, and then its up to you, whether you want to foolishly carry on blindly, or be strong enough to walk away for good. Each time I gave someone a chance and made an excuse for them, some how strangely Allah showed me in ways, some ways that were purely accidental, that these people have not changed and are still dishonest. Its up to you to take notice of the sign Allah sent you, to hear Allah and be strong. There are times where we ask Allah to show us the truth, to show us which direction to turn, and when He shows us we become unhappy about it, we are in denial and we carry on making bad decisions that never will benefit us.

Deep down we all know the people and the paths that are harmful to us and the ones that will benefit us and bring us closer to Allah. We know but we are not strong enough to listen to our own instincts. Be strong enough to walk away, with the full belief that Allah will reimburse you with something so much more fitting or that those people will return to you, when they have finally realised, that they can hide their dishonesty from you - but not from Allah.

And of course the same goes for the opposite. If a person is sincere, pure and genuine, you will surely see it. Allah will not veil this from you. You will know in your heart who beautiful people are, and when you find them you should not let go of them, for they can only make your life beautiful. And you should fear that you should never hurt them, be good to them, and know, that Allah is with them, and will surely show them how ugly you are, if you are not sincere from within.

I ask Allah to help me see things as they truly are, and to show me people for who they truly are, and for the strength to base my decisions on this reality.

"In truth the conduct of our lives is the only proof of the sincerity of our hearts." -Anonymous

Prepare for the Big Test

Every single thing you do, is a test, from the moment u wake up, every small step u take, the people
you talk to, the way you talk to them, they are all tests to show one thing or another. Your adab, your aklaaq, your patience. So realise it, before you do absolutely anything, when you walk out the door, when you go to work, when you meet someone new, everything can be turned into dhikr with a simple intention before doing anything, like  "Bissmillah, I am cooking this meal, to feed my children to make them strong to become future leaders of the Ummah," or "Bissmillah, I am going to work to fulfill the rights of my family, to provide for them as a husband and father." A simple, basic every day practice, is turned into something beautiful because you change your intention of doing it purely for the sake of Allah.

Every situation you are put in, whether its a chore you do every day, or whether its a new situation, be aware of them all, especially the new situations - they catch you by surprise - keep reminding yourself, that something can happen at any time to test my aklaaq, my adab, my patience.

People, they are all around us, even when we are alone, they are still there, in your heads in your hearts or on the internet! The majority of situations are for sure going to involve people, and there are people who are meaningless to you, people you walk past in the street, your local shop keeper, ones you never met, ones who you care for deeply,  and your actions and words with all of them count, your test with each of them are different but important in different ways depending on your interaction with them. Remember: Akhlaaq, adaab at all times. whether you know them or not, or if they are good to you or bad to you, whether they anger you or excite you or make you laugh, aklaak and adab, Why? even if it means its not you.
It may not be your way, or your personality, but it was the Prophets way (may peace and blessings
be upon him), and his way never fails, our way, most certainly will and has failed us.
When your always aware of these small tests and aware of yourself, your so much more prepared when the bigger ones come right?

Become Someone Who is Deserving

Realise that your failure in the past was for a reason.  Stop blaming the other person, for once, blame yourself and change yourself. And only then you will find contentment. Life is like a game at times. If you lose in the game, then you have to realise what your weaknesses were and improve your skills before trying again, only then will you be successful at winning the game the next time round. But if you don't realise and try to improve those skills (or learn new ones), then your going to keep losing, for sure.

How to change is the question perhaps. Its obvious, but only if you reflect on it. And it can be a combination of external and internal aspects, different for each individual. External being: A bad tempered, foul mouthed person, needs to work on his anger management  or someone who is overly pedantic and particular about things needs to realise that not every one is like them and they just need to chill out a bit, an intelligent person who needs an "intelligent" conversation needs to stop looking down on others, thinking they are not enough of a stimulation for them, there are so many ways to find your entertainment with people, if your willing to change and be less arrogant about it, and the list goes on...

And internally? No good will come to you if your still doing bad. And once you become straight with Allah, He will bring things to you from a path you never expected it from. The trick is to let go, of all the bad things in your life, of all the things that give you distress, worry, anxiety, let go and cut it off, close the door completely, for even if you leave it a little open, there remains a chance that it will return and drag you back down again.
Focus on Allah and believe that He will only bring you good when you are full deserving of it.

Sometimes people tell me that I ran away from all my problems in life and made out like this was a bad thing. For me I see it as a good thing, I didn't run away, it was just a way of removing myself from all the things that were causing me harm to my deen, I came to cleanse, to reflect, to change. And I am so much more happier for it. And there may be times where the opportunity arises for you to fall back into your old habits, and sometimes you succumb to it and sometimes your strong and avoid it, its all a test and its all part of the process of learning, A test to see if you are worthy yet, of the goodness Allah kept in store for you,
He is waiting to give it to you and He wants to give it to you. This is what people need to realise,
when they lose hope and believe that they will never find happiness, they should remember that its only them that keeps messing up their own happiness, (because they don't change their ways).

I deliberately ask people why they think they experienced such and such experience in their life. And some will say its the will of Allah, (although this applies) they say this only to remove any blame from themselves, because on digging deeper they will then blame the other person completely without any fault on them. I find that quite sad, if not laughable, because it shows they didn't learn anything about themselves in that lesson. And if they learnt something it was only to defend their own actions e.g "I am too trusting, too caring" etc.
I guess with young people its less irritating to hear that from, because there is still a chance for them to realise in later life. But for those that are older...? Well if they haven't realised by now at that age how to change, in order to find contentment, well more fool them.
Let them live in their own little world of perfection, whilst us imperfect people carry on with life in happiness.

*Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. 
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.* –Rumi

(Picture: Alexandria, Egypt 2013)