Cry it Out.

Sometimes you just have to cry it out. And when we are totally broken, when we have exhausted all other avenues, demeaning as they are, the last thing we resort to is this. And suddenly for whatever reason the burden becomes lighter. Suddenly another door opens, and suddenly it seems so much easier to close the last door. It doesn't matter how much people disappoint you, how many times they try to break you, it is purely to bring you back down to the realisation that, you are nothing, you are not in control, and that He is the only one you can turn to, to enable you to move on again. And those who don't realise this and do not turn to Him, who do not cry it out, and beg for his mercy and forgiveness, they will carry on going through the turmoil of fighting the war waging within themselves.

Why is is that when we have lost all hope, not knowing which way to turn, full of confusion and thoughts and thinking "What if? Why?", crying brings us this result? Because this is where you are at your most weakest point which no one would want to admit, even to  themselves, never mind to others. And for you to accept this, to finally break down all the barriers and just surrender yourself, to Allah, and to the plan that He set out for you, in this we find peace, we set ourselves free.

"One of the marvels of the world: The sight of a soul sitting in prison with the key in its hand."

-Rumi

Lights Out

The electricity just went out. A common occurrence in Egypt. And although this occurrence is a somewhat nuisance, I love to hear the cheer of the children outside that this nuisance causes. This darkness is somehow exciting for them, whilst us adults carry on grumbling, the kids scream and chant and shout, its a sound that is perfect, it makes me smile. 

I smile at the way these children are able to look past the dark, and remain happy and playful, whilst when the darkness of life falls on us adults, we fail to see any kind of light. Wouldn't those dark times be so much more easier if our attitude remained like a child's?  That you can still laugh and have fun and be happy in that dark time, because we know that it will eventually pass and light will return. 

But where is the fun in light? Where is the fun in seeing where your going? Imagine if we could actually see where we will end up after 1 week or one year? That mystery of darkness is indeed something exciting and perhaps even comforting. 

Lastly, there is something about the dark that brings people back to earth. With so much electricity and lights on, we arrogantly hold our heads high looking at everything and anything unnecessarily.  But in the darkness we become humble, our heads are lowered, concentrating only on that which the light of our candle hits. 

And so I welcome the darkness. I welcome that even in the dark you may smile and look forward, I welcome that we may find comfort in the mystery of it, and I welcome that it makes us more humble. 

Rumi - "What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle."

Joined at the Soul

Pondering over the whole thing about having a "soulmate" in life. And how some people are lucky to meet someone who they believe is their soulmate and others are more lucky to marry them and spend their whole life with them. And I have been wondering what is it that makes these persons so connected down to the very soul. Because thinking about it, it could be that you passionately love someone but they are not necessarily your soulmate, and that your soulmate is not necessariliy someone you are passionately in love with. And the person your in love with might be someone you actualy cannot spend your life with, because they do not give you peace and fullfillment in your life. However your soulmate, will always undoubtedly be able to offer you peace and tranquility.

Over the year or so it has been a common occurance which I have found really strange; how I tried to just live life on my own and not let anyone into my bubble. But it was strange how people came into my life and got attached to me regardless of however hard I tried to just be a "nomad".  For some weird reason they really liked me and didn't want to leave me and I didn't know why that was. But because of their persistance I grew attached to them too, unknowingly letting some of them in and finding some harmony, and common ground with them. And then there were others, who I guess, I was persistant with in a futile attempt to kill my boredom and loneliness yet, I found no common ground with them, and was eager to return back into my own world after being with them. And I didn't understand why the difference was there, because they all seemed like decent/nice people.
Its just that I didn't connect with some of them on a level I connected with others.

And then I came accross a statement online (by Yasmin Mogahed) which included the following hadith and commentary which kind of answered my thoughts above:

The Prophet (pbuh) said: "The souls are (like) an army joined (in the world of spirits) whichever souls knew each other (in that world) are attracted towards each other (in this world) and whichever remained distant and indifferent (there) are disinterested to each other (in this world)" (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab Ahaadeeth al-Anbiyaa’, Baab al-Arwaah junood
mujannadah).

*Commentary: "Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on the hadeeth: “Concerning the phrase ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers…’ al-Khattaabi said: ‘This may refer to their similarity as regards good or evil, righteousness or corruption. Good people are inclined towards other good people, and evil people are similarly inclined towards other evil people. Souls feel affinity with others according to the nature in which they were created, good or evil. If souls’ natures are similar, they will get along, otherwise they will not be on good terms with one another. It could be that what is being referred to is the beginning of creation in the realm of the unseen when, it is reported, souls were created before bodies, and used to meet one another and express their pessimism about the future. When souls have entered bodies (come to the physical realm) they may recognize one another from the past, and may be on friendly terms or otherwise based on that past experience.”

"Al-Khattaabi and others said: this getting along with one another has to do with what Allaah decreed from the outset about the ultimate destiny of souls, whether they will be among the blessed [in Paradise] or the doomed [in Hell]. Souls are of two opposing kinds, and when they meet in this physical world, they will either love or hate one another depending on the way they were created.
Good souls will be inclined towards other good souls, and evil souls will be inclined towards other evil souls. And Allaah knows best."

(http://islamqa.com/en/ref/3864/soul)


Following on from that, there were some people/souls who I didn't care about leaving, because I didn't really like them anyway, and then there were others who I cared for, but it still didn't hurt me to leave them, and I wondered if this was a fault in me, that my heart had become hardened, but I realise that when your connected to someone on a soul level your always connected - your not really leaving each other, only in the physical sense. It's almost like your souls know you will meet again...

And so it could be that you can never marry your soulmate, but you remain happy in letting them go knowing they are happy in life, for this very reason that the souls will one day meet again.
It is something beautiful, because people get confused; they think the people they can't live without and have strong feelings for are the ones that they should be with, and they find it difficult to let them go, its such a mental torment for them because they "love" them so much, but this "love" is just physical and in reality they are the ones that damage your soul most. Your soulmate on the other hand, although you would be a little sad to let them go in this world, you would be able to do so, knowing your parting is not eternal. And its ironic how really, the person you would be able to let go, is the person you would find most contentment in spending your life with, because that is the one who is most beneficial for your soul, and sanity.

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.
Because for those who love with heart and soul,
there is no such thing as separation!" ~ Rumi

 

A Guide from Beyond

“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
― Rumi

I remember a while back, after chatting to a friend, I say a friend, but actually I didnt know her at all at the time, but she did become someone admirable to me, mostly because she had such a beautiful and refreshing personality. She said to me that it seemed like I had been through quite a lot in a short space of time. It never really dawned on me that that was the case until she said it, I think more fitting is that I have come across many different personalities in a short space of time - I have learnt a lot about people. Yes.

When people go through some hardship, I guess its quite common for them to go through a phase of blocking others out, I was at a stage of never contacting my friends, not visiting family, turning up to classes and then leaving without speaking to anyone. Even though I kind of enjoyed being in my own world so to speak, it seems like there were still individuals who unknowlingly broke me out back into the real world - and although I cant say I would ever be my old self, I am grateful to them and to Allah for sending them to me, to show me that yes there is hope of some good and pure personalities out there. I do not claim to be amongst them, however observing the characters out there, makes me realise who I want to be like and who I would loath to be like.

Certain individuals come into our life for a reason. Allah sends specific people to us to teach us specific things about ourselves. It might be that you never ever realised how impatient you were until someone actually pushed you to your limit - how would you know ur own patience untill someone pushed you?
The people I have come across; good characters, bad ones, ones that I would like to help and others that are beyond help. I guess they scared me, not because they were not great characters, but perhaps because what it made me realise.
I look and I reflect on each person, and I think, what have they taught me about myself? That I am an unforgiving person? Because I couldnt give them a second chance. That I am a gossip? Because they managed to squeeze bits of information from me? That I am not merciful because I exposed anothers faults? That I am caniving because I considered "stabbing them in the back." That I am unjust,
because I stayed quiet rather than standing up for the truth when it was needed? That I am a fool for letting reputable losers take advantage of me.
That I am weak and out of control. That I am nothing. Althought life has taught me well, there is still much to learn. I fear the people I am to meet next but I also look forward to it, I look forward to each individual I meet that makes me a little wiser. Bring it on I say. And although I probably think now that "yeh I have met them all, I can spot them a mile off now" Im sure there are still a few characters that will catch me off guard, just to remind me that you still have so much to learn - about people (and about yourself).

I guess we are all weak in character in some way. The important thing is that we realise it and start to make a change in ourselves, so that the pain/difficulties experienced in our life are not repeated. Because I believe the difficulty comes to you because of a weakness in yourself - not in others. We spend too much time blaming others, finding the minor faults in them, rather than the obvious fault in ourselves. We should realise that it is US that need to make the change, to keep it consistent even when others dont, to fight the battle within ourselves, to always keep our guard up, because the greatest war we have to fight, is the war with ourselves.
When the companions of the Prophet (Peace and blessing be upon him) returned from the Battlefield, The Prophet would say "they have returned from the lesser war to the greater war, (the battle with the self)."
This realisation, reflection and constant effort to change is what makes us the better individual. Its what makes us better Muslims.

 

Mevlana Rumi

The famous spiritual author, sufi mystic and poet.

“Listen to the Reed flute how it wistfully sings,

Crying of separation, Complaining.”

- Song of the Reed (Mevlana Rumi)

The calligrapher’s pen is made of Reed, the same material that flute is carved from. The flute sings with music, the notes it produces when blown, the pen sings with writing, the letters made by the calligrapher.

Mevlana Rumi associates the reed flute with the soul. As the Reed is plucked from the reed beds and subsequently carved into a tool, flute or pen, as is our soul, plucked from its origins and put into the bodies we have now, they long to return.
….To Allah we belong and to him we shall return…

The calligrapher’s pen is not only a tool for him/her to express themselves, it holds special depths and spiritual meaning, thus the calligrapher always keeps his/her pen protected, respected and looked after, i.e. they avoid dropping it on the floor, it is kept clean and pure and kept in the dhikr of Allah…as should the soul.

On further reflection, the Qur'an swears by the pen in surah Qalam, thus the fact that the Almighty Allah (swt) has made an oath by it, gives it its higher rank in status. Surely this shows that it is one of the most powerful tools used by mankind, not just today, but for centuries.






The Truest and Best Love

“Ben dostlarımı ne kalbimle ne de aklımla severim.
Olur ya kalp durur, akıl unutur.
Ben dostlarımı ruhumla severim.
O ne durur, ne unutur...” (MEVLANA RUMİ)

Translated:
I love the beloved not with my heart nor my mind,
The heart stops and the mind forgets,
I love the beloved with my soul (ruh),
It does not stop, it does not forget.

Note: Beloved i.e. Allah and his prophet (saw), your friends and family.
Note: The Ruh is ongoing; it is present in this life and the hereafter (eternity). To love with your Ruh means your love is not just temporary; it means to love on a whole different level...





Acknowledge: My good friend in body and soul, Zahra.H.