You will find that no individual has the same problem, the trials you are put in are different to your friends, neighbours, colleagues, and in turn their tribulations are quite different to yours. This is because every trial is adjusted to suit the need of that individual, so that they are given the chance to develop in the area in which they lack most, or maybe to tweak them up to perfection, one persons problem may be bigger than another, perhaps they have more to work on? And the other person just needs a tweaking? Every individual has different things to work on, whatever that may be, patience, anger, having a positive attitude, keeping good relationships etc, and thus, with every circumstance one is put in, one cannot control their circumstances, but one can control their response.
Sometimes they say: Often, if there is no pain, you don’t realise certain things about yourself, and thus there is a hikmah in the pain that people face, its all part of a beautiful plan, first to make you realise your faults, and then to give you a chance to put it right. It’s easy to fall into the victim attitude and say “Why me? Why am I having to go through this crap!?” Perhaps it’s a good speculation, having being asked in the right attitude and right frame of mind, Yes why IS this happening to you, what do YOU need to change to make it right? And of course Allah knows what we need most, and in what ways we need to change, so don’t be a victim, embrace the opportunity to master becoming that better, most patient, most caring, most grateful and most happiest person.
Hadith from Bukhari and Muslim:
Strange indeed are the affairs of a believer, for anything that happens to them is good – and that isn’t true for anyone but a believer. If good happens to them, they are thankful and that is good for them, if difficulty befalls them they are patient and that is good for them.