Monday, 10 September 2012

Randomness of thoughts

I heard this line or something similar in a rubbish movie:
"How can it be, that someone who has lost so much is still so open to love and forgiveness, yet I have lost nothing and remain so closed and unforgiving?" As pointless as the movie was, this line remained etched in my mind.

I think there are times where we spend moments feeling quite sorry for ourselves. For the misfortune we have experienced in life, for the hurt and the tears. And then you may come across people, who have experienced so much more than you and makes what you have been through, in comparison, look like a peanut. It makes you realise that you have more than you think, if not everything.

So amidst the suffering of your (in comparision) minor misfortune, after the release of the temporary pain, after wiping away the pool of dried up tears, and in the final acceptance of losing someone, you infact found yourself. My dear have you not gained?  So why remain so closed and unforgiving?
Is it that you did not like what you found? That even after the loss of everything that hurt you, you are still stuck with the biggest problem of all; yourself? Maybe you fear people, but should you not fear yourself more?
Because people will only hurt you if you let them. And even if you let them, it doesnt mean you are weak in any way, it just means that your trust in Allah remains stronger than your fear of life, because even though people, life, will let you down, Allah never will. It might be that you understand completely, its just that, your not yet ready.

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Alex at night

11pm in Alexandria, and the streets are buzzing. I dont need to go out to know it, I can hear the hum of the hussle and bussle in the comfort of my apartment 11 floors up. The dogs barking, people chitter chatter, the cars peeping their horn and playing their music, the motorcycle shop revving and I guess washing as I can hear the sound of water squirting,kids (awake at this time!) screamin their little heads off.
Theres one little boy that lives opposite to my place called Hassan. His balcony is directly
opposite mine, so if I was to step out I would be looking straight at him and his family - hence why I never go out on the balcony! I know his name is Hassan, because he is always screaching "BA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" at the top of his voice as if his tonsils would fall out. I assume its Ba ba that screams back "YA HASSAN!"
As annoying as Hassans screaching is at times, I always find a smile creep on my face when I hear him - its funny how he has no idea, that a british foreigner whom he has never seen before, that lives so close by finds him so entertaining.
I guess Egypt wouldn't be complete without Hassans screaching. Its simply mad here, but you gotta love it.

We are a test for each other.

Allah made people so diverse, they come from different parts of the world, grew up in cultures alien to us, have had experiences that have shaped them as a person. People perhaps do things, that others may find unjust/unfair or strange, yet you have to look at the bigger picture, the culture behind it, the experience that person may have had to make them like that. Their intention may have been pure, but because our experiences and culture have shaped us as a different person, we dont neccessarilly see the good intention behind their acts.
Dont blame the person, and dont even blame their experiences, because even that came from Allah.

When meeting new people, its best to approach them with an open mind, and although they may not have a sparkling reputaton for whatever reason, it might be best to just give them the benefit of the doubt anyway.
It could be that those people learnt their lesson in the past and realised they did something
which seemed unacceptable to others.  So you now have the benefit of meeting such a person (at this point) - a person who realises is a renewed person, a better person - so give them a chance. Right?

Realise that you are not the only one being tested in life. The test is also on others. and just as they are a test for you, you also are a test for them.

I think we are scared of seeing others in a good light, because if they let you down, it makes it that
much harder to trust the next. However, I plan to start each new relationship with a positive impression regardless. Perhaps it will be me that lets them down. Perhaps, I am infact, a test for them instead.
I gues, we are all a test for each other.

A Path Perfected.

You find there are always other people that know more than you. Whats more annoying,
is that they are ten years younger (grrr...I mean mashallah!). It makes me look back, I wouldn't say my years were wasted,I have gained things that others dont necessrily have, and I guess my route in life was taken in a way which Allah thought befitting of me. Perhaps if I had taken another persons path of learning knowledge, I would have gained nothing - because that path was not meant to be for me.

When I think about it, things in the past happend so precisely, an uncanny chain of events, in order to bring me to where I am now, which could have only been facilitated by Allahs perfect plan. Alhamdulillah.

Certain events may happen in life, or you may meet people, good and bad, that will make you realise, that you need to change your ways and seek knowledge; at least to protect yourself. These things may unknowingly push you down a certain path, its your choice to take it. If these events never came to us, and if we never met these people, we may have continued being even more ignorant,than we already are.
The individuals that you meet that know so much more than you? Theyr just a reminder, to keep going, at your own pace, on your own path, and not theirs.
I know that what I am undertaking now will lead me beautifully on to something else, a path that is perfected for me only.
I put my trust in Allah, that He will bring me to a destination, that is full of contentment, peace, mercy, trust, justice and Love. Something I will only find in Him.

Alhamdulillah for the experience of the last journey and Bissmillah to the next.