I heard this line or something similar in a rubbish movie:
"How can it be, that someone who has lost so much is still so open to love and forgiveness, yet I have lost nothing and remain so closed and unforgiving?" As pointless as the movie was, this line remained etched in my mind.
I think there are times where we spend moments feeling quite sorry for ourselves. For the misfortune we have experienced in life, for the hurt and the tears. And then you may come across people, who have experienced so much more than you and makes what you have been through, in comparison, look like a peanut. It makes you realise that you have more than you think, if not everything.
So amidst the suffering of your (in comparision) minor misfortune, after the release of the temporary pain, after wiping away the pool of dried up tears, and in the final acceptance of losing someone, you infact found yourself. My dear have you not gained? So why remain so closed and unforgiving?
Is it that you did not like what you found? That even after the loss of everything that hurt you, you are still stuck with the biggest problem of all; yourself? Maybe you fear people, but should you not fear yourself more?
Because people will only hurt you if you let them. And even if you let them, it doesnt mean you are weak in any way, it just means that your trust in Allah remains stronger than your fear of life, because even though people, life, will let you down, Allah never will. It might be that you understand completely, its just that, your not yet ready.