Thursday, 26 December 2013

Compatibility of Hearts

This explains a lot... Why some people just don't get along, and never will. And others just feel a natural connection;

Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al Kawthari:

Allah Most High has placed a natural connection and compatibility between some people, and disconnection and incompatibility between others. Some hearts are naturally connected, whilst others are not. Some people are inclined towards each other and destined to get along, whilst others are not. This is the reason why we sometimes feel an instant connection with another person – be it a family member, teacher, Shaykh, work colleague or someone random. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

This refers to the beginning of creation in the realm of the unseen when, it is reported, souls were created before bodies, and used to meet one another. When they enter bodies (come to the physical realm); those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they do not get along with. Moreover, this happens because of something in common that Allah has created between them; so people who have similar characteristics will like one another, and those who do not have similar characteristics will not like one another. People with good qualities are inclined towards other good people, and people with evil qualities are similarly inclined towards other evil people. (Fath al-Bari and Nawawi)

Amrah bint Abd al-Rahman says, “There was a woman in Makka who liked to joke, and she came and stayed with a woman in Madina who was like her [i.e. she liked to joke as well]. When A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) heard about this, she said, ‘my beloved (Allah bless him & give him peace) spoke the truth. I heard the Messenger of Allah saying…’ and then mentioned a similar hadith.” (Sunan Abi Ya’la)

Saturday, 21 December 2013

Marriage is selflessness

 A well known scholar once said "Relationships between a man and a woman should be rooted in selflessness, a husband should reflect on how he could give to his wife more than he takes. And she should reflect on how she can give more than she takes. This selflessness will allow hearts to absorb the realities of love that so many are missing today"   

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Mufti Menk - be fair and just

- Support the spouse.
- Do not side with one of them (the wife or the mother) be fair and just.
- "My mother is my door to paradise." But know that your mother is your door to hell also.
- When you don't lay down the limits, then the marriage cannot work.
- Look after the parents, but be just in relation to your spouse.