Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Give up or Fight

He told me that I was the type of person to give up too easily, that I lose hope quickly, and that I should fight for something if I wanted it. It never dawned on me until he said it. It could of been a complete guess at my personality, he didnt know me, but it hurt to know that it was close to, if not the complete truth. And perhaps I lost things/people for exactly this reason. Since then it seems I fight for everything, to the extent to which people may accuse me of being a complainer, a trouble maker, an ungrateful person. And that hurts too. Because they dont know me either.
And so I wonder which is best, im still deciding. These days I try not to fight for things, and perhaps I dont react at all to minor injustices that have happend to me, but I dont give up hope either. I stay away from people that have hurt me or rather I keep them at a distance. I live in a world of my own. And I have found that somehow things come back round again, without me trying too hard.
And they happen as if I am an observer on the outside. And I can almost predict things along the way - like watching a film, regardless of whether its what I want to happen, whether its the outcome I want or not, it doesn't matter anymore, because if I am in a world of my own, then its not my outcome to deal with.
So if you think about it, Im not giving up, not fighting, just observing.

Sunday, 23 December 2012

When so many (good) people dislike you, then surely you are the problem.

So whats it like to be so hated by every single person? It must be a really horrible feeling. To be so disliked. I mean why do you make it so difficult for others to like you? You don't have to be such a jerk. You choose to be one, with every word you speak and every action you do. Your not helping yourself. People may be fooled by your exterior, but sooner or later your internal decay will show through. You have no adab, there is nothing beautiful about your speach and you push
people away rather than bringing them closer. Silly person. Dont you see. Dont you learn? Dont you
think? Think why you are having the same problems. Because you keep making the same mistakes..
Surely logic would tell you that when so many people are unhappy with you, then YOU are the problem. You dont realise, because your intellect is still immature. And its unlucky for some that they will never grow up. Will you only realise when everyones leaves you? And they are more successful without you?
Dont you fear your Lord?
How do you expect Allah to love you, when you cannot gain the love of people. And they are good people, who come to you for help and assistant, they rely on you and you let them down and inconvenience them in every way, why? Because your concern is more for yourself and your own gain then for others. When your concern becomes for others, only then will you become Allahs concern and only then will you have barakah in everything you do.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Just maybe its worth the wait.

Sometimes in life there are things worth waiting for. A bit like when you see a beautiful dress or the latest gadget in the shop. You want it straight away. And if you manage to walk away without it, your fixed on when you can return and purchase it. Perhaps you didnt go back to the shop and waited after a month, two months, three. Then when you do, you find that its on sale and actually you got a better deal than if you had rushed into it and bought it straight off.
There always remained the risk that waiting for so long would result in you coming back to find that it wasn't there anymore. Someone else, already purchased it before you, you missed your chance, but you never really lost anything else, because it was never yours anyway, nor was it destined to be for you.
Its alot like things in life, and more specifically people. We tend to cling onto people thinking that its our one and only chance for friendship, marriage, etc. and we miss the aspect of patience and destiny. Being able to walk away from something/someone takes some strength and it is a risk that when you return they wont be there anymore, but if they are, then maybe, just maybe you will have something better.

Monday, 3 December 2012

Pure Logic.

The more you try to control people, the more they will try to rebel against you.

The more respect you demand from people, the more they will disrespect you. Your have to earn the respect. Give respect to gain respect. Don't think you will get that respect simply because your in a certain (superior) position.

The more brittle and unflexible you are, the more people will try to break you. Try to show understanding and flexibility to other peoples needs and people will then start becoming more easier to work with, and to mould into what you need.

The more you try to talk your way out of a situation rather than just saying it how it is, the more people will think your being dishonest and a liar. Just tell it how it is and if its because you failed at providing, then say so and people will respect you for your honesty at least. Otherwise, you will end up being a constant disapointment for so many people, time and time again.

The more lack of communication you have with others, the more problems you will face with them. Dont think you can just decide things on your own and expect everyone to be ok with it. Esspecially when your trying to decide on things you dont completely understand. One meeting/or short conversation with everyone is all it takes, in order to get everyones point of view, have trust in them that they also know what they are doing and then base your decisions on this, your still the decision maker, however it shows that you actualy care about other peoples input = Respect. Good communication is key, in any kind of relationship, this is most important. And it will prevent so much future hassle of people apposing your decisions and then things need to be changed yet again. A bit of communication can go a long way.

The more inconsistent you are, the more people will get frustrated with you and not trust you.
Be consistent. People dont tolerate inconsistancy and constant changes. And things are best gained when it is gained through consistancy = organised = some thought has been put into it = trust

The more you think of your own goals, the more further away from them you will become. Everyone involved has goals, its good to remember that, and the more you work towards helping people reach their goals (either it be staff/students/spouse/children/family/friends), the quicker you find yourself reaching your own goals - when your putting others first then surely Allah will give you barakah in everything.

The more sure of yourself you are, the more others will doubt you. Always doubt yourself, dont think your always right, and dont be so arrogant to think that other people are always wrong. Its a noble thing to admit your wrong and to always worry about your intentions and sincerity. Dont allow arrogance to get the better of you.

Lastly, learn from your mistakes. You failed with the last person, or the last situation, so try not to make the same mistakes with the next ones. Because when there is a consistent pattern, your reputation will then start to fail you aswel.

I dont think this is any kind of wisdom, its just pure logic, and it amazes me how some people fail realise it.