And after an in depth conversation partly about religion and partly about how I think I failed my exam at madrassa that weekend, she said to me "you know you dont have to be clever to be a good person," It suddenly dawned on me, that infact this was not the words of a muslim person, not even someone who even believed in God (im working on her), it was certainly the words of a wise person.
For a time I wondered, how is one meant to reach a high state of piety or at least goodness, if they are like me, striving to learn but not quite an "achiever" lets say...duas dont stick in my head,
and I dont necessarily undertsand the fiqh rulings and how or when to apply what, no matter how many time the poor Sheikh explains it...I wondered how am I supposed to "achieve" in deen when I dont have the intellect? I felt like you had to be clever to be close to Allah, and perhaps I even had a bit of a complex because people in my past made me feel like that...
I thought about her words, and yes there is an element if not a complete truth in what she stated.
she is the kind of person, who has a major admiration for nature, surrounds herself in flowers and constanly talks about the beauty of plants and animals and such and it occured to me that this person who doesnt even believe in God is actually more connected to Allah in a way she probably doesn't even realise. To love creation so much, means you are indirectly loving the creator...and this closeness one feels when they are so in touch with nature is uncomparable, how can you not be a "good person" when you have so much admiration and love for the beauty Allah has bestowed to us on earth just as a proof of his majesty?
...it has nothing to do with intellect.
That said, I will still try to pass my exams at madrassa.