Give up or Fight

He told me that I was the type of person to give up too easily, that I lose hope quickly, and that I should fight for something if I wanted it. It never dawned on me until he said it. It could of been a complete guess at my personality, he didnt know me, but it hurt to know that it was close to, if not the complete truth. And perhaps I lost things/people for exactly this reason. Since then it seems I fight for everything, to the extent to which people may accuse me of being a complainer, a trouble maker, an ungrateful person. And that hurts too. Because they dont know me either.
And so I wonder which is best, im still deciding. These days I try not to fight for things, and perhaps I dont react at all to minor injustices that have happend to me, but I dont give up hope either. I stay away from people that have hurt me or rather I keep them at a distance. I live in a world of my own. And I have found that somehow things come back round again, without me trying too hard.
And they happen as if I am an observer on the outside. And I can almost predict things along the way - like watching a film, regardless of whether its what I want to happen, whether its the outcome I want or not, it doesn't matter anymore, because if I am in a world of my own, then its not my outcome to deal with.
So if you think about it, Im not giving up, not fighting, just observing.

When so many (good) people dislike you, then surely you are the problem.

So whats it like to be so hated by every single person? It must be a really horrible feeling. To be so disliked. I mean why do you make it so difficult for others to like you? You don't have to be such a jerk. You choose to be one, with every word you speak and every action you do. Your not helping yourself. People may be fooled by your exterior, but sooner or later your internal decay will show through. You have no adab, there is nothing beautiful about your speach and you push
people away rather than bringing them closer. Silly person. Dont you see. Dont you learn? Dont you
think? Think why you are having the same problems. Because you keep making the same mistakes..
Surely logic would tell you that when so many people are unhappy with you, then YOU are the problem. You dont realise, because your intellect is still immature. And its unlucky for some that they will never grow up. Will you only realise when everyones leaves you? And they are more successful without you?
Dont you fear your Lord?
How do you expect Allah to love you, when you cannot gain the love of people. And they are good people, who come to you for help and assistant, they rely on you and you let them down and inconvenience them in every way, why? Because your concern is more for yourself and your own gain then for others. When your concern becomes for others, only then will you become Allahs concern and only then will you have barakah in everything you do.

Just maybe its worth the wait.

Sometimes in life there are things worth waiting for. A bit like when you see a beautiful dress or the latest gadget in the shop. You want it straight away. And if you manage to walk away without it, your fixed on when you can return and purchase it. Perhaps you didnt go back to the shop and waited after a month, two months, three. Then when you do, you find that its on sale and actually you got a better deal than if you had rushed into it and bought it straight off.
There always remained the risk that waiting for so long would result in you coming back to find that it wasn't there anymore. Someone else, already purchased it before you, you missed your chance, but you never really lost anything else, because it was never yours anyway, nor was it destined to be for you.
Its alot like things in life, and more specifically people. We tend to cling onto people thinking that its our one and only chance for friendship, marriage, etc. and we miss the aspect of patience and destiny. Being able to walk away from something/someone takes some strength and it is a risk that when you return they wont be there anymore, but if they are, then maybe, just maybe you will have something better.

Pure Logic.

The more you try to control people, the more they will try to rebel against you.

The more respect you demand from people, the more they will disrespect you. Your have to earn the respect. Give respect to gain respect. Don't think you will get that respect simply because your in a certain (superior) position.

The more brittle and unflexible you are, the more people will try to break you. Try to show understanding and flexibility to other peoples needs and people will then start becoming more easier to work with, and to mould into what you need.

The more you try to talk your way out of a situation rather than just saying it how it is, the more people will think your being dishonest and a liar. Just tell it how it is and if its because you failed at providing, then say so and people will respect you for your honesty at least. Otherwise, you will end up being a constant disapointment for so many people, time and time again.

The more lack of communication you have with others, the more problems you will face with them. Dont think you can just decide things on your own and expect everyone to be ok with it. Esspecially when your trying to decide on things you dont completely understand. One meeting/or short conversation with everyone is all it takes, in order to get everyones point of view, have trust in them that they also know what they are doing and then base your decisions on this, your still the decision maker, however it shows that you actualy care about other peoples input = Respect. Good communication is key, in any kind of relationship, this is most important. And it will prevent so much future hassle of people apposing your decisions and then things need to be changed yet again. A bit of communication can go a long way.

The more inconsistent you are, the more people will get frustrated with you and not trust you.
Be consistent. People dont tolerate inconsistancy and constant changes. And things are best gained when it is gained through consistancy = organised = some thought has been put into it = trust

The more you think of your own goals, the more further away from them you will become. Everyone involved has goals, its good to remember that, and the more you work towards helping people reach their goals (either it be staff/students/spouse/children/family/friends), the quicker you find yourself reaching your own goals - when your putting others first then surely Allah will give you barakah in everything.

The more sure of yourself you are, the more others will doubt you. Always doubt yourself, dont think your always right, and dont be so arrogant to think that other people are always wrong. Its a noble thing to admit your wrong and to always worry about your intentions and sincerity. Dont allow arrogance to get the better of you.

Lastly, learn from your mistakes. You failed with the last person, or the last situation, so try not to make the same mistakes with the next ones. Because when there is a consistent pattern, your reputation will then start to fail you aswel.

I dont think this is any kind of wisdom, its just pure logic, and it amazes me how some people fail realise it.

On Marriage

Even though marriage is a Sunna and an act of worship (ibadah), there is a 'genuine' difference of opinion between classical scholars – due to the various evidences – in terms of what is ‘superior’ for a person who does not have a desire or urge to get married. Most Imams hold that marrying is superior, but there are many others who consider marriage to be merely permitted (mubāḥ) for such a person, and thus it is better for him/her to devote him/herself to worship, serving Islam and other noble activities. In view of this, some of the greatest Imams of our Umma did not marry? Scholars like Imam Nawawi, Imam Ibn Taymiya, Imam Ibn Jarir al-Tabari and the famous female scholar of hadith Sayyida Karima al-Marwaziyy and others (Allah have mercy on them) did not marry due to their dedication to teaching, propagating and serving the din of Allah!

By Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Morsi in a muddle...and not in the middle!

The recent protests in Alex have been quite intersting and perhaps a little unexpected. The law change in Egypt that Morsi put into place has flustered quite a lot of Egyptians so it seems, and perhaps confused them after his "heroic" act of running to Gazas aid and freeing them from the oppression of Israel, only to come back to his own country to take full control, removing anyone elses rights to put laws into place - correct me if I understood the politics incorrectly.

Was it just a coincidence, that Egypt was the country to run to help Gaza, and that Israel agreed to a ceasfire under the "influence" of Egypt, and then for all power to be shifted to Morsi in terms of law making.

Point one here, is that Since Morsi came into power, nothing much changed, people are still in a desperate situation in terms of jobs, you can ask any layman that on the street, and the economy is just generally a bit rubbish, so he wasn't able to make a positive impact economically. Perhaps his rush to Gaza showed that he at least could have another impact, and win the people of Egypt by a means of "Well at least his principals are in place."

Point two here is, whats the connection between Israel agreeing to a ceasfire and then Morsi putting it on himself to have full control of Egypt.
What did Morsi agree to in order for Isreal to stop bombing the people of Gaza...? And is he now just another puppet, another way in which to control the masses. Or I wonder if this was the plan all along...and poor Morsi fell for it.

So after putting himself in the middle of Gaza and Israel to mediate a ceasfire, has he now got himself into a bit of a muddle?

A Graceful Patience.

There is always one ayah in every surah thats stands out from the rest for me. It always hits me, so profound are the words, and it can be something perfectly simple but completely amazes me.

Surat Al-Ma'arijj, Verse 5. "So be patient, with a graceful patience."

 

Maybe it hit me because I am such an impatient person. We are always reminded to keep patience during times of turmoil or stress or whatever situation that requires it. However we are never reminded to keep a graceful patience.

 

I think this shows how important it is to be graceful in everything one does. Because one can be patient and still be bitter and twisted about it. And one can be enduring patience but still be cut up about it, upset, crying, moody, hating, like you have a thunder cloud above you or you have a "chip on your shoulder". However, to be patient with grace? Wow now that is something else. That is really letting go of any bitterness and hurt and simply accepting the will of Allah, completely. A graceful patience would be the type that leaves no sign on you that you are undergoing turmoil and infact would show the opposite, that you are the most happiest and content person in the world. That you would still show love and mercy to others, that your character stays beautiful, that you simply stay smiling :) Theres is so much beauty in this one tiny ayah, which is why I love it. It is so hard to stay patient, yet even harder to keep it gracefully, but you can see why there would be so much more benefit in it.

 

 

This is just my opinion, I am not attempting to interprete the ayah out of context or anything. I am just stating my feelings when I read certain surahs/ayats.

 

And Allah Knows best.



2nd chance, 3rd chance...but no 4th.

When you consistantly let others down. When you took them for granted, thinking they would always be there no matter how you treated them. When no one of importance likes you...or trusts you. There may be that one person, who looked past everything, who gave you another chance at a time when no one else would. But you abused that chance (again) and misused it. So don't be surprised, when that person cuts you out their life, completely. You was never deserving of them anyway.

We will not leave Gaza alone

"I am telling the Zionist oppressors that if you insist on your aggressions, you will face the consequences of your mistakes, you and those who you think are protecting you... I am saying to Israel stop, or you will face the anger of Egyptians... Our souls are striving for the holy lands... Everyone must know that the will and abilities of Egypt could take out the roots of evil just like it took out the roots of oppression... Read history and you would know that you will never become victorious... There will be no peace or prosperity with oppression, as the bloods of victims will be a curse on you and will move all nations against you... The Zionists shall not have power over the people of Gaza, and we are not going to leave Gaza alone." - President Mursi, Friday night.

IKRAM Mesir 2012
Source : Sheikh. Waleed Abdulhakeem

The Sound of War...

It was pretty scary being woken up this morning by the sound of rockets. Yeh thats what I said. I had convinced myself that the deafening sound was just a very low flying airoplane...I knew in my heart though that it wasn't quite the same sound, it sounded more scary, the sound of war. It was only when I got to school that people confirmed my thoughts and that struck some fear in me. "They were sent via Egypt as a warning..." and what is to follow only Allah knows, but I guess we know too, to an extent, because its all predicted, and those who seek knoweldge of the end of times and reflect will know that..

I guess my point here is that, we get so caught up in our own little lives, we tend to forget the world around us, until we become part of the craziness. One "warning" is all it took, for me to realise completely that my life is  nothing, that whatever trivial things happen in my life, is most certainly trivial and worthless. That was just one sound, one time, imagine the muslims out there who are constantly bombarded with this, rockets, bombs, people dying, your life is nothing, esspecially when you are not doing anything to help them and esspecially when you know there is so so much more to come. You worry about not passing your exams, or that your not getting married, or your getting old, or that someone let you down yet again, don't you worry of the end of times? Dont you fear the Dajjaal? Dont you fear the chaos that will lead up to and unfold during these events? You should fear, for yourself, for your children and grandchildren that will inevitably be part of these difficult times. Only then will you realise, that everything and everyone else is nothing and no one. Because what is to come is going to be the biggest trial of all for the muslim ummah.

 

The Dreamer and the Angel

What happens when the dreamer stops dreaming...is it that he gives up hope, or is it that he just settles for what was destined for him. Don't we all just "settle" in the end? And what if he is not satisfied with his destiny? Or perhaps he is satisfied...he just wants a reason to keep dreaming, to keep aiming, searching, for something better, never knowing if it really existed in the first place.

All the Dreamer wanted was an angel.

And when the dreamer met his angel, he became arrogant and found that the light of the angel was not bright enough. And so he searched for a star, yet he found that even the light of the star was not bright enough. And so he searched for the sun and he found that the sun, it burnt him. It burnt him so bad that the scars were unbearably ugly. The sun, no longer wanted him. The star, no longer wanted him and nor did the angel.

Through his search he only gained in arrogance which shunned everyone away, but the sun that burnt him made him realise, that the search was not a search of finding something better. His search was a search of becoming someone better...

 Lovers are givers, not takers

The Inner Turmoil of an Oppressor

I feel like Allah sends me to certain people to try them and test them. Not because I am such a nightmare and their patience with me will make them closer to Allah, no not that type of test, they are not so lucky. But the kind of test that makes them realise in the end, that they are such a fool. I guess the test is whether they realise it or not. Allow me to be a lesson to you.

Even though such people are so sure of themselves and are able to justify their behaviour, I hope I am the one that makes them doubt their certainty and perhaps makes them realise that, even though they think they can push others around, fraud them, oppress them, in actual fact life doesn't go by their rules. Its doesn't even go by my rules, it goes by Allah's.

Such people who opress shouldn't think that they got away with it. In the end they get what they deserve until they reflect and realise. You tend to find, that such people are never really happy, although they may pretend. Allah sends them an inner turmoil which eats them up - they are only hurting themselves.

Their soul, it screams. It becomes weary, as it screams for the oppression to stop. They can't handle the screams any longer, so these people try to lock themselves away, away from the turmoil, they hide from people. But they don't realise, that they didn't even lock the turmoil out, they only locked the screaming soul in with them. They never escape. Fools.

And so every time I may have learnt a lesson from such peoples pathetic behaviour, I believe they learnt ten lessons from my response. And I felt no loss in leaving them, and I will feel no loss in leaving any others. Although, it seems, they feel more loss in losing me...and I think that tells me something.

Stay Focused

Its always difficult to stay focused. When you have made an intention to do something, you start off determined and sure of what you need to do, but as time goes on it seems so easy to go off track and for that intention to go astray.
You allow yourself to be swayed, which can only affect the thing you set out to do in the first place.

I guess, there are things/people that will come to us from different directions externally, and they come to us to test the strength of our initial internal intention. It makes you delusional and it makes you weak. It makes you question yourself and brings about a dissatisfaction because you let yourself come out of "the zone".

The intention whether big or small, from learning the arabic alphabet to memorising the quran, if its a good intention, for the sake of Allah, then shaytaan will always find ways to distract you from it, whether it be your children, friends, or marriage. Shaytaan knows your weakness and he will distract you with exactly that, so dont compromise the quality of your intention and the quality of your study.

I suppose thats why, the people whom are most successful, are those whose intentions are not only pure, but are also strong, firm, focused.

Just stay focused. Dont be swayed. Your reward lies with Allah. Everything else, is just nothing and no one in comparison...

Sweet Lies and Bitter Truths

I can handle a lot of things from people, but I cannot handle dishonesty. It really rips me up inside if or when someone lies to me. And you know that feeling when you just know someone lied to you but you can't really prove it? Its a killer.

I dont really understand how or why people can justify it to themselves. Do they think they are doing something good? They think they are doing ME a favour? By hiding me from the truth? Well why dont they just do themselves a favour and just be honest. Isn't it easier for them to just tell the truth? When one lie leads to another and another and then its all of a muddle?

Ok so it may not be an outright lie of saying one thing then doing another. It may be a string of twisted sweet words that make you think one thing and then when it comes to the crunch, the sweet words become absolute bitter denial which somehow becomes your fault - you mis-interpreted the sweet words you fool.
Dont these people realise the effects of their own words? They dont learn their lesson first time round, second time round, third time...how many chances did they think they had? Because in the end, no one wants to give them a chance anymore.
No one wants to know a liar, not their friends, not their family, and one day maybe even their own children. They are like thieves, they steal your naivety, your trust and leave you with a dashed dream. Can these thieves ever be happy? Why would Allah reward them with any Barakah or happiness in their lives when they keep "stealing".

I choose not to deal with them. I choose to leave them to Allah to deal with, and my prayer is that they get exactly what they deserve, that whatever they took from me, let that same thing be taken from them.
Happiness is only given to those whom are deserving of it. And they, do not deserve to be happy, not untill they start being truthful with others and to themselves.

Allah is Sufficient for you

I wrote a post a while back, and its really strange, because Im starting to look at things from a different angle. Its weird because, its happend on more than one occasion, where I have wrote about something and then I am kinda put into that situation and its like Allah is trying to tell me yeh you wrote about it, now live it, this is the reality of it, and it might just change your mind or it might enforce what you thought already. Its amazing subhanallah.

An example of this is that people keep coming in and out my life and they come into my life exactly when I need them, and when I start getting attached to them they leave again and I am on my own. But its mad because every time it happens, it gets easier. I hold firmly to a truth in my heart that Allah will bring someone else in when I need them. The fact that they leave just doesnt bother me any more, and infact, I started to see that there is something good in being on your own. When
you have no attachement to people and to life, then your attachement to Allah is inevitable.

So sometimes its just better to be alone. When I say this I mean it to an extent and not to the extreme, I miss being around my family and mostly I just miss my mum. But thats an attachment of a different sort.

For some reason we feel the need to have people in our lives to kill our loneliness, but when you think about it, most of our problems come from people, not loneliness. The test really is to see if you are or can be content, with just your Lord in your life. And there will be some who are not content, there will be some who dont acknowledge Him and there will be some who cant find Him, and then there will be others who patiently perservere, who remain hopeful and who Allah is sufficient for. May Allah be sufficient for us all inshallah.

Randomness of thoughts

I heard this line or something similar in a rubbish movie:
"How can it be, that someone who has lost so much is still so open to love and forgiveness, yet I have lost nothing and remain so closed and unforgiving?" As pointless as the movie was, this line remained etched in my mind.

I think there are times where we spend moments feeling quite sorry for ourselves. For the misfortune we have experienced in life, for the hurt and the tears. And then you may come across people, who have experienced so much more than you and makes what you have been through, in comparison, look like a peanut. It makes you realise that you have more than you think, if not everything.

So amidst the suffering of your (in comparision) minor misfortune, after the release of the temporary pain, after wiping away the pool of dried up tears, and in the final acceptance of losing someone, you infact found yourself. My dear have you not gained?  So why remain so closed and unforgiving?
Is it that you did not like what you found? That even after the loss of everything that hurt you, you are still stuck with the biggest problem of all; yourself? Maybe you fear people, but should you not fear yourself more?
Because people will only hurt you if you let them. And even if you let them, it doesnt mean you are weak in any way, it just means that your trust in Allah remains stronger than your fear of life, because even though people, life, will let you down, Allah never will. It might be that you understand completely, its just that, your not yet ready.

Alex at night

11pm in Alexandria, and the streets are buzzing. I dont need to go out to know it, I can hear the hum of the hussle and bussle in the comfort of my apartment 11 floors up. The dogs barking, people chitter chatter, the cars peeping their horn and playing their music, the motorcycle shop revving and I guess washing as I can hear the sound of water squirting,kids (awake at this time!) screamin their little heads off.
Theres one little boy that lives opposite to my place called Hassan. His balcony is directly
opposite mine, so if I was to step out I would be looking straight at him and his family - hence why I never go out on the balcony! I know his name is Hassan, because he is always screaching "BA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" at the top of his voice as if his tonsils would fall out. I assume its Ba ba that screams back "YA HASSAN!"
As annoying as Hassans screaching is at times, I always find a smile creep on my face when I hear him - its funny how he has no idea, that a british foreigner whom he has never seen before, that lives so close by finds him so entertaining.
I guess Egypt wouldn't be complete without Hassans screaching. Its simply mad here, but you gotta love it.

We are a test for each other.

Allah made people so diverse, they come from different parts of the world, grew up in cultures alien to us, have had experiences that have shaped them as a person. People perhaps do things, that others may find unjust/unfair or strange, yet you have to look at the bigger picture, the culture behind it, the experience that person may have had to make them like that. Their intention may have been pure, but because our experiences and culture have shaped us as a different person, we dont neccessarilly see the good intention behind their acts.
Dont blame the person, and dont even blame their experiences, because even that came from Allah.

When meeting new people, its best to approach them with an open mind, and although they may not have a sparkling reputaton for whatever reason, it might be best to just give them the benefit of the doubt anyway.
It could be that those people learnt their lesson in the past and realised they did something
which seemed unacceptable to others.  So you now have the benefit of meeting such a person (at this point) - a person who realises is a renewed person, a better person - so give them a chance. Right?

Realise that you are not the only one being tested in life. The test is also on others. and just as they are a test for you, you also are a test for them.

I think we are scared of seeing others in a good light, because if they let you down, it makes it that
much harder to trust the next. However, I plan to start each new relationship with a positive impression regardless. Perhaps it will be me that lets them down. Perhaps, I am infact, a test for them instead.
I gues, we are all a test for each other.

A Path Perfected.

You find there are always other people that know more than you. Whats more annoying,
is that they are ten years younger (grrr...I mean mashallah!). It makes me look back, I wouldn't say my years were wasted,I have gained things that others dont necessrily have, and I guess my route in life was taken in a way which Allah thought befitting of me. Perhaps if I had taken another persons path of learning knowledge, I would have gained nothing - because that path was not meant to be for me.

When I think about it, things in the past happend so precisely, an uncanny chain of events, in order to bring me to where I am now, which could have only been facilitated by Allahs perfect plan. Alhamdulillah.

Certain events may happen in life, or you may meet people, good and bad, that will make you realise, that you need to change your ways and seek knowledge; at least to protect yourself. These things may unknowingly push you down a certain path, its your choice to take it. If these events never came to us, and if we never met these people, we may have continued being even more ignorant,than we already are.
 
The individuals that you meet that know so much more than you? Theyr just a reminder, to keep going, at your own pace, on your own path, and not theirs.
I know that what I am undertaking now will lead me beautifully on to something else, a path that is perfected for me only.
I put my trust in Allah, that He will bring me to a destination, that is full of contentment, peace, mercy, trust, justice and Love. Something I will only find in Him.

Alhamdulillah for the experience of the last journey and Bissmillah to the next.

 

A Guide from Beyond

“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
― Rumi

I remember a while back, after chatting to a friend, I say a friend, but actually I didnt know her at all at the time, but she did become someone admirable to me, mostly because she had such a beautiful and refreshing personality. She said to me that it seemed like I had been through quite a lot in a short space of time. It never really dawned on me that that was the case until she said it, I think more fitting is that I have come across many different personalities in a short space of time - I have learnt a lot about people. Yes.

When people go through some hardship, I guess its quite common for them to go through a phase of blocking others out, I was at a stage of never contacting my friends, not visiting family, turning up to classes and then leaving without speaking to anyone. Even though I kind of enjoyed being in my own world so to speak, it seems like there were still individuals who unknowlingly broke me out back into the real world - and although I cant say I would ever be my old self, I am grateful to them and to Allah for sending them to me, to show me that yes there is hope of some good and pure personalities out there. I do not claim to be amongst them, however observing the characters out there, makes me realise who I want to be like and who I would loath to be like.

Certain individuals come into our life for a reason. Allah sends specific people to us to teach us specific things about ourselves. It might be that you never ever realised how impatient you were until someone actually pushed you to your limit - how would you know ur own patience untill someone pushed you?
The people I have come across; good characters, bad ones, ones that I would like to help and others that are beyond help. I guess they scared me, not because they were not great characters, but perhaps because what it made me realise.
I look and I reflect on each person, and I think, what have they taught me about myself? That I am an unforgiving person? Because I couldnt give them a second chance. That I am a gossip? Because they managed to squeeze bits of information from me? That I am not merciful because I exposed anothers faults? That I am caniving because I considered "stabbing them in the back." That I am unjust,
because I stayed quiet rather than standing up for the truth when it was needed? That I am a fool for letting reputable losers take advantage of me.
That I am weak and out of control. That I am nothing. Althought life has taught me well, there is still much to learn. I fear the people I am to meet next but I also look forward to it, I look forward to each individual I meet that makes me a little wiser. Bring it on I say. And although I probably think now that "yeh I have met them all, I can spot them a mile off now" Im sure there are still a few characters that will catch me off guard, just to remind me that you still have so much to learn - about people (and about yourself).

I guess we are all weak in character in some way. The important thing is that we realise it and start to make a change in ourselves, so that the pain/difficulties experienced in our life are not repeated. Because I believe the difficulty comes to you because of a weakness in yourself - not in others. We spend too much time blaming others, finding the minor faults in them, rather than the obvious fault in ourselves. We should realise that it is US that need to make the change, to keep it consistent even when others dont, to fight the battle within ourselves, to always keep our guard up, because the greatest war we have to fight, is the war with ourselves.
When the companions of the Prophet (Peace and blessing be upon him) returned from the Battlefield, The Prophet would say "they have returned from the lesser war to the greater war, (the battle with the self)."
This realisation, reflection and constant effort to change is what makes us the better individual. Its what makes us better Muslims.

 

Time will tell

I realise that it is down to ones impatience as to finding the reason of why things happen to us and why we meet some people. We are not patient enough to let time tell. We want the answer
there and then, and when we dont get the answer, we give up on Allah, but we dont realise, that He does not give up on us.
He gives us another chance to get it right - when we find ourselves in similar situatuion, similar tests except its with different people, a different place, a different situation, but in essence the same test.

More importantly, not only do we find that certain people are in our life, we also find that at certain points of our life we are alone. I find this more as I get older. Uni life was full of hussle and bussle, and when you leave, your left to your own devices wandering aimlessly to the next chapter, where again you may find someone, who then leaves and again your alone. Its important to note, that each chapter led you on to the next.
A person may have come into your life because Allah wanted to guide you somewhere through that person. And I have found, that certain doors are open to me because people came into my life and led me to that door. They showed me how to get there, and its up to me to take the next step. It may be that I must take the step alone, but I believe that this is Allahs way of training me, because at the end of the day, we face the Lord alone on the day of reckoning.

I admit I grow attached to people quite easily, and I find it hard to let them go. But let them go I must, for their sake if not mine, and I apologise to those who have hurt because of my own selfish attachment.

This reminds me of the Journey "Israa wal Miraaj" when Gibrael accompanied the Prophet (saw) throughout the journey but at the point of reaching the Lote tree, the Prophet is told to go ahead alone (without his companion Gibrael) to meet his Lord. And so we may all have company in our lives, to show us the way, but at some point they must leave, and we must have the courage to move forward alone, with the hope of reaching something better.

A Choice between Dunyah and Aakhirah

I have found on numerous occasions, where it seems that I have to make a choice, and the choice is quite blatantly between the Dunyah and the Aakhirah, whether it be a choice between a good career/academic education and islamic education, between choosing to marry a deeny man or
a rich-dunya orientated man etc.
One profound thing remains in my mind that the Sheikh in class once said: That "the Dunyah
and the Aakhirah are like two sisters, if you choose to marry one of them, the other one becomes Haram for you."
I dont believe in these kind of people who think they can have the best of both worlds. I think they are confused/deluded in their intentions. The message here is quite clear, you cant have both, Allah does not allow it.

Hadith 3: Al-Arba'in Collection Of 40 Hadiths on Ramadhan - Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Kawthari

Al-Arba'in Collection of 40 Hadiths on Ramadan.
Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam Al Kawthari http://www.daruliftaa.com/

40 Hadiths related to the blessed month of Ramadan.

The companion Abu Hurairah (RA) says that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:  “Whoever stands up in the middle of the night and worships Allah in Ramadan with two conditions: With full Imaan and with the hope of reward from Allah, all his previous sins will be forgiven.  Whoever Fasts in Ramadan with the two conditions, his previous sins will be forgiven. Whoever stays awake and worships Allah on Laylatul Qadr with the two conditions Imaan and Ihtisaab, his previous sins will be forgiven.”

Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim

Imaan: to have full conviction, devotion, concentration and love for Allah

And so whosoever does these things, fasting, nightly prayers and laylatul Qadr with the sole sake of doing it for the love of Allah with complete devotion and concentration then all his sins will be forgiven.

Ihtisaab: with the hope of reward from Allah, so his intention is 100% for Allah, to earn Allah’s pleasure

The sins that are forgiven are the sins between the person and Allah. However the sins that involves another person; this still requires the forgiveness of the other person.

Hadith 2: Al-Arba'in Collection Of 40 Hadiths on Ramadhan - Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Kawthari

Al-Arba'in Collection of 40 Hadiths on Ramadan.
Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam Al Kawthari http://www.daruliftaa.com/

40 Hadiths related to the blessed month of Ramadan.

The companion Sahl (RA) relates that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “Verily in Paradise (Jannah) there is a door called Rayyaan. This door Rayyaan is reserved for people who observed fasting in the month of Ramdaan. It will be announced, “Where are those people who fasted in Ramadaan?” and those who observed the fasts will stand up, and no one else besides them will enter through this door.  Once they enter, the door will be closed.

Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim

Explanation:

There will be different doors to Jannah reserved for people, based on their different acts of worship.  For example, the people who observed Salah excessively will enter through a door called Baab-usallah and people of Jihaad will be called from the door of Jihaad (Baab ul Jihaad) and people of charity will be called from the door of charity. And thus, the people of fasting will be called from Rayaan.

Abu Bakr once asked the Prophet (SAW), “Will there be anyone who is called from all the doors?” and He (SAW) said “Yes, and I hope that you will be of those people.”

In summary, this just shows that there are specific doors that will open for specific people, based on their acts of worship either it be nafl  prayers, Dhikr, charity etc. and thus one of the virtue of fasting.

Hadith 1: Al-Arba'in Collection Of 40 Hadiths on Ramadhan - Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Kawthari

Al-Arba'in Collection of 40 Hadiths on Ramadan.

Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam Al Kawthari http://www.daruliftaa.com/

40 Hadiths related to the blessed month of Ramadan.

 Hadith 1:

Translation of Hadith:

The companion Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah may Allah be pleased with him relates, that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:

"When the month of Ramadan enters, the doors of the Heavens are opened up and the doors of hell are closed and the Satan (shayateen) are chained."

Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim.

Explanation of Hadith:

The messenger of Allah says that 3 things happen in the month of Ramdan

In this variation of the Hadith, the doors of the Heavens are mentioned, and in another variation, the door of Jannah is mentioned. Thus some Ulema say that the doors of the Heavens in this hadith actually refer to the doors of Jannah (Paradise).

The term "opened up" means: some Ulema say it means literally to open up, and some say it refers to the great opportunities for a Muslim to enter Jannah, in terms of excess worship, offering salah, Qiyamul layl, fasting, recitation of Quraan, and all the types of ibaadat that a person can carry out in this month.

The second thing mentioned is that the doors of hell fire are closed. And that Satan and his offspring are all chained, which means it is easier for a Muslim to avoid committing a sin and so refrain from it in the month of Ramadan. However there are still some Muslims that do commit sin. Two reasons why sin is commited are:

1. that the shaytann whispers (Was wasa)

2. due to that persons nafs (soul)

Hence why some Muslims still commit sin in this month - due to their own nafs.

In summary, in Ramadan it is easier to be pious and refrain from sin, and perform acts of worship, and easy to enter Jannah. Thus we should take maximum benefit from this month and strive to take it further into the other months aswell inshallah.

Letting go

"Whatever it is, You just have to let go. If you can." were her words to me...
I smiled nervously and turned away, not just to hide the tears, but from the truth aswell. I hadn't realised that the past few weeks was leading to a downward spiral attack on myself. And just as I had had enough, I said to her "I dont know what to do with myself to make it better?" and thus her response; it came so naturally as she shrugged her shoulders whilst she said it, like the answer was so simple and obvious. It was so spot on and relevant it scared me. She didnt know the story behind my recent anguish, yet somehow, she managed to see the hidden tears and she responded as if she completely understood, like she also, had been in that same dark place and learnt, that there is a way out; "just let go."
And so I carried on walking, leaving behind my reflection in the window, leaving behind. Letting go.



“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”
― Khalil Gibran

The Choice to Destiny

They say you cant choose your destiny. I say there is an element of choice in arriving at the door of your destiny.
They say that life is like a journey. I say life is a bunch of interconnected cross roads, we are always having to make decisions, small cross roads and large ones, reflecting the small decisions and the major life changing ones. Each road may take us to a different destination. We may be aware of what lies at the end of some roads and quite unaware of others, not knowing if it will get us to where we want to be. Choosing an unknown road is like taking a chance in life. It can be a tough journey, and at each cross road something is left behind. Sometimes you find that something/someone is blocking your way to go down a certain path, it holds you back and you make a choice to stay there or to overtake, break through. Most of the time you find it is yourself that blocks your own way. There are cross roads where we cant make decisions or we are just fed up of making them. We take a breather, because we know that when we push ourselves too hard, this in itself holds us back, the burden too heavy, unable to move on. Its important to make your journey a little at a time, consistant, meaningful.
And when we take a wrong turn, we may need to go back a few steps...take the other road. But its ok, because you learnt that the first road leads to no where - you wont take that one again. But then there are roads that we went down, but we failed to follow correctly, and sometimes we wish we had a chance to take that road again, perhaps we live in hope, that one day we will arrive back at it, a chance to succeed and not to fail again.
Along the road we may stumble and fall. They say that when you fall it makes you stronger. I say that when you fall it makes you weaker. I mean a broken cup when mended still has cracks right? and when the cup gets knocked again it doesnt just break...it shatters. Yes you may fall, we all do, but it just makes you aware of the pitfalls in life, and you become cautious of falling again because you know you are weaker - the cracks of your heart just can't take another fall...
It is your choice to avoid certain roads that will avoid you getting hurt and it is your choice to take a chance down the unknown, hence why I think it is down to your choice, which will infact lead you to the door of your destiny.

Misguided and Misguiding

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, "Truly, Allah does not remove Sacred Knowledge by taking it out of servants, but rather by taking back the souls of Islamic scholars [in death], until, when He has not left a single scholar, the people take the ignorant as leaders, who are asked for and who give Islamic legal opinion without knowledge, misguided and misguiding" (Fath al-Bari, 1.194, hadith 100).

The Love that is...

What is “Love”?

The Oxford dictionary states that Love is:

1)       a strong feeling of affection

2)      a great interest and pleasure in something

There was a load of other definitions from various dictionaries, the point being, the definition of Love is not the same everywhere.

Someone said to me the other day that we live in a society, such that we are brought up on a false belief of what Love should be. It is our exposure to Hollywood/movies/adverts/Disney/society which defines our perception of “Love”. It defines it in such a way, that it becomes unrealistic, and it is in fact unreachable, in my opinion.

Perhaps we grow up watching Disney movies, which builds us into the thinking that one day we also, will meet our Prince Charming or Princess Jasmin. It plants a seed that grows into an infatuation of searching and expectation that can’t possibly be fulfilled and thus leads to disappointment, depression, ungratefulness and lack of hope. I mean how are we meant to feel what Prince Charming felt for his Princess? They’re not real, its fantasy and that’s where fantasy will stay.

When people get married, perhaps one does not feel the “Hollywood love” for the spouse, especially in an Islamic marriage, where technically you don’t really know the other person at first. Or perhaps after a few years of Marriage, the spark kinda dies, either way it makes them paranoid, they start thinking that something just aint right in this marriage. Why? Because you ain’t feeling the Luuuurve that Dr Dre raps about?  This kind of paranoia leads to a dissatisfaction in marriage and instead of building on the positive aspects of ones relationship, one is led to an on-going search which can last a life time if you let it. I direct this at boys in particular, not because I hate them…but because in general it is in the nature of a woman to be satisfied with any small bit of good in a relationship, (I remember my mum saying once,  that a woman only cries when she feels she has lost completely everything – meaning if there was just an ounce of something, she will hold on to it).   And so in the end these boys become old lonely men who now just want to marry to save themselves from loneliness and that “Hollywood spark” no longer matters. So in the process of reaching this lifetime learning curve, they have just simply messed up too many girls lives, to possess the same as what they started with, the only difference is that THEY have become a little wiser. They learnt to find the spark in every individual, rather than chasing the spark that doesn’t exist.

Problems occur when people try to conform to other people’s ideas of what love is, or what a meaningful relationship should be and not for what is suited for their own relationship. In my opinion every couple has an individual definition of “Love” which is unique to their own personal relationship with their partner. And that in itself is what I think is beautiful.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
-Maulana Jelaluddin Rumi

Debating Matters of Religion

A man came before Imaam Abu Hanifa and brought with him another man who was known to have a deviant belief of Islam.
The man asked Imaam Abu Hanifa "Can I pray behind this man?" Imaam Abu Hanifa Rahimullah replied "We cannot pray behind either of the two of you."
The man became surprised and asked why, and the Imaam replied "because he holds a belief that
is deviant from Islam and you, (refering to the man who asked the question), you argue about matters of religion."
Imaam Al-Ghazzali says in Bidayat Al-Hidayat that he consideres argumentation in matters of religion a major sin of its own.
These days there are Imaams/people who actually enjoy debating on matters of religion, and for some it is simply in their nature to just uneccesarily debate and constantly prove their point to others. However all this really shows, is that they themselves are uneasy and confused in their own heart and it is thus the reason why it should be avoided to pray behind such people, and in my view to stay away from such people completely.

"However difficult life is, it is only a temporary trial."

"Go through the trials of life, the little of little trials.
And prepare yourself for the long journey.
In his obedience you win both life on earth and the hereafter.
And in his obeience is the honour for the humiliated slave.
And in his disobeience there is, shame and the Fire of fires.
And in such distance (from your Lord) you will only find humiliation.
So do not dissobey your Lord and obey Him always, so that you might be accepted."

Intelligence vs. Piety

She sat across the desk to me, Her side of the table surrounded her with little vases of handpicked flowers and extracts of nature she had found on her long walks in the countryside.
And after an in depth conversation partly about religion and partly about how I think I failed my exam at madrassa that weekend, she said to me "you know you dont have to be clever to be a good person," It suddenly dawned on me, that infact this was not the words of a muslim person, not even someone who even believed in God (im working on her), it was certainly the words of a wise person.

For a time I wondered, how is one meant to reach a high state of piety or at least goodness, if they are like me, striving to learn but not quite an "achiever" lets say...duas dont stick in my head,
and I dont necessarily undertsand the fiqh rulings and how or when to apply what, no matter how many time the poor Sheikh explains it...I wondered how am I supposed to "achieve" in deen when I dont have the intellect? I felt like you had to be clever to be close to Allah, and perhaps I even had a bit of a complex because people in my past made me feel like that...

I thought about her words, and yes there is an element if not a complete truth in what she stated.
she is the kind of person, who has a major admiration for nature, surrounds herself in flowers and constanly talks about the beauty of plants and animals and such and it occured to me that this person who doesnt even believe in God is actually more connected to Allah in a way she probably doesn't even realise. To love creation so much, means you are indirectly loving the creator...and this closeness one feels when they are so in  touch with nature is uncomparable, how can you not be a "good person" when you have so much admiration and love for the beauty Allah has bestowed to us on earth just as a proof of his majesty?
...it has nothing to do with intellect.
That said, I will still try to pass my exams at madrassa.

You Fool!

"The most foolish of men are those who believe strongly in their own intelligence.

And the men who are most stable in intelligence, are those who are suspicious of themselves, and most ready to ask from the learned." ~ Imaam Al-Ghazzali

The Mirror of the Heart

To understand reality as it truly is.

(Imaam Al-Ghazzali)

Sometimes we want to understand things the way we want to understand it and not as it truly is. And sometimes we want to understand things as they truely are and try to reach a higher state of spirituality to be amongst the pious, but can’t, why is this so?

The Heart is like a mirror, it has the ability to reflects the true nature of things.

As with the mirror, a true reflection will not be shown for the following 5 reasons:

1)      A defect in the iron of the mirror – the mirror is still just a lump of iron, it has not yet been formed and moulded into a mirror. So the entity (or potential) is there but has not yet been shaped or formed yet. (This is the state of the Hearts of children or the youth).

2)      Because of the dirt, rust and dullness. Even if it has been formed perfectly but it cannot reflect because of the dullness and dirt on the surface. (Due to the filth from disobedience and dirt from excessive desires which heap up onto the surface of the Heart causing it to be dull).

3)      Because it is turned away from the direction of the object towards something else. (Perhaps the attention is directed towards outward acts – making wudu/how to pray etc…one does not realise the internal needs to be worked on aswell).

4)      Because of a veil placed before the mirror and the object. (Because one is stuck to certain beliefs, or may even deny the higher states of spirituality).

5)      Because of not knowing how to position the mirror in the desired direction of the object. (Simply one has no knowledge of reaching this state of understanding).

Thus too is the Heart a mirror. Ready to have reflected in it the true nature of reality and all things.

The Pig, The Dog, The Demon and The Wise Man

There are elements of the inner being, which are the traits of Mans nature. Success lies in keeping these elements in balance.

Imaam Al-Ghazzali says:

Know, that there are 4 factors intermixed elements that dwell in a man’s nature that are united against him, the qualities of:

1)      The predatory beast (animalistic)

2)      Demonic (deceitful, cunningness, evil intention)

3)      lordly (God-given wisdom/knowledge - which may lead to good or may lead to arrogance, i.e. to claim lordship – like Pharaoh, notice we use this word with lower case letter “L”)

4)      Brutish qualities (greed)

Every man has a mix of these four qualities, these all gather within a man’s skin as if they were a pig (Brutish), a dog (Predatory beast), a demon (Demonic) and a Wise Man (lordly).

The Pig = appetence, desire, lust, internal greed

The Dog = Anger, enmity, as it is in the nature of this animal to be savage, to slaughter, to be wild

The Demon, it continues to stir up the appetence of the Pig and the enmity of the Wild beast.

And within Man there also lies a “wise man” (akl), who, wards off the Demon, and kills off the gluttony of the Pig by setting the enmity of the Dog onto it. And if he is successful in doing so and maintains the balance then the kingdom is safe. However if he is weak and he fails, then he is constantly searching out new ways to satisfy the Pig and please his Dog. And thus the scary reality of it is that most of mankind are not serving their Lord, but are serving a Dog and a Pig, because their primary concern is their bellies, sexual indulgence and getting even with the enemy.

And so the irony comes, as Imaam Al-Ghazzali says, he whom disapproves of idolatry to a stone, if the veil were surely to be removed, he would actually find himself in prostration to a Pig, serving his appetite and that which he lusts. Or he would find himself in prostration to a Dog, by planning and scheming to become obedient to it. And as it is the Demon that arouses the Pig and the Dog, in effect, Man is worshipping the Demon.

If Man is able to bring all of these elements under the lordly rule of the wise man, then he is able to gain more knowledge, wisdom, understand the real nature of things. By bringing the appetence of the Pig back within limits, he is able to gain so much more honourable qualities, such as chasteness, contentment, happiness, modesty and such. By holding back the anger of the Dog he is able to gain courage, generosity, self-control, patience, gentleness, nobility, dignity and such.